Angela's Texas Adventures

Didn't think you could get rid of me that easy, didya?

2012-01-25T18:29:00.000-06:00

I'm back, bitches!

(Sorry, I felt compelled to say that even though it's awkward and lame.)

I promise: I'm still alive. And after some time away (almost 3 months!), I'm back to chronicling my adventures in math grad school. There's a lot going on this semester (and a lot happened last semester and over the break when I wasn't writing), so I've got lots of stories and things to share with you.

As some of you may have noticed, on December 1, 2011, I deleted all previous posts and put up a little good-bye message saying I was done blogging for the time being. For my triumphant return, I intend to re-post many but not all of my pre-December 2011 entries over the next few days to remind you of the back-story. (Think of anything that gets re-instated like the "Best Of 2010-2011" collection!)

I would like to point out that while my blog is open to the public and anyone and everyone is welcome to read it, this blog is personal. It is made up of the thoughts and experiences of an individual. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am sad, sometimes I am annoyed, sometimes I am angry, sometimes I am intelligent, sometimes I am stupid, sometimes I am pretty, sometimes I am ugly, sometimes I am funny, sometimes I am boring, sometimes I am rude, sometimes I am kind. Sometimes I am all of these things, sometimes I am none of these things. If you know me, even only in passing or in a limited context, you know that I've usually got a smile on my face, but that I'm also loud and opinionated. You'll hear me say this time and time again throughout most of my entries, but here it is for the first time (again): if you don't like or want to hear what I have to say, then don't read my blog. No one is forcing you to visit this webpage. Although if someone is putting a gun to your head and making you read it, then my recommendation is: maybe you should call the police. My blog isn't going to save you.

The primary purposes of my writing here are as follows: (1) to stay in contact with friends, family, and current/former colleagues whether near or far by giving them a peek into what I'm doing with my life, and (2) to give the aforementioned audience, as well as perfect strangers who may be curious, an idea of what graduate school (in mathematics) is like - the struggles, the successes, the failures, the highs, the lows, the expectations, the disappointments, etc. Secondary purposes include storytelling, therapeutic writing (a lot of times working out a problem or situation in the written word is my only/best way of dealing with it), and talking about what it's like to live as a transplant in Texas.

So, let's get to it!

My fourth "long-semester" (not counting summer semesters) of graduate school has started and things are heating up. Some changes have occurred in my responsibilities, but many things are exactly as they were before. For example, under a new department policy, since I'm teaching a class I've already taught before (same), I will have to grade homework for an upper level math course that a real faculty member is teaching (change). They didn't have anything like this class I'm grading for at the college I went to. It's a how-to-use-your-upper-level-college-math-experience-to-teach-high-school-math class, intended for junior and senior undergraduate math majors who will be getting certified to teach high school math. I was a little apprehensive, but as I learned more about it, I think it's a great way to better prepare future high school math teachers for the classroom. Hopefully the students put forth an effort and take their responsibility seriously. Time will tell, I suppose. Plus, it's giving me some insight into the preparation and expectations for high school math teachers. It's already been enlightening (more stories on this later, I'm sure).

As for the class I'm teaching, it's the same class as last semester, with basically the same structure. I'm modifying my lecture notes and pace based on what I learned last semester, but it's largely the same deal. The first week or so, the students stared at me blankly, and I was afraid I'd gotten a class that would be hard to draw in. But this morning's class went really well. The students were awake, and they were responding to my questions and asking their own questions freely. I've also set a schedule for my lesson plans that lines up with how much time the topics took when I taught them last semester. So hopefully I have a more realistic schedule this time around. Of course, the more times you do something, the better you become at it. You may remember that the thing I most enjoyed last semester was writing exams. The first two exams didn't go that well (too long for a 50 minute period) and the students were disgruntled. But the third exam was JUST RIGHT. So hopefully I can carry that momentum over to this semester and write three great exams that everyone will be happy with.

The classes I'm taking are similar to last semester. I'm taking a continuation of last semester's Lie Algebras course and a continuation of the core Topology course. Then I'm also taking a reading course (kind of like an independent study, only there's four of us so I'm not doing it by myself) in algebraic topology and doing some reading on the side (not for credit) in representation theory in the hopes that it could lead me to a possible research (and eventually dissertation) topic. It's only about a week into the semester, but so far everything is playing out perfectly and I'm pretty happy with my schedule and responsibilities. It's a lot of time and effort and work, but that's what grad school is, so it's no surprise.

Okay, I think this is it for my re-introduction entry. Next time I promise I'll write something more interesting.

What a difference a day makes!

2011-11-01T16:01:00.000-05:00

Today has been a roller coaster day.

It started this morning when I stopped at Starbucks for some morning coffee. As is the custom, on November 1st (today!) they begin using their winter cups. The first week or so that the red cups with snow-scenes on them are used, it puts a smile on my face and some excitement in me for winter (if only because the faster we get through winter, the faster we get to summer again). So as I walked into the building I work in on campus today, holding my red cup full of caffeine, I thought to myself "I am going to spend today appreciating the little things in life. I am going to have a good day because I am going to actively seek out positive, happy little thoughts."

Now, last night I had spent some time thinking about the complex analysis assignment that was due today (I'm not normally such a procrastinator, but I've been very busy with a lot of back-to-back due dates so I haven't been able to do much in advance and I've been doing basically everything last minute for the past week or two, which is stressing me out). I felt that I was close to solutions to two of the problems, so I went to bed, figuring I could spend the few hours I'd be in my office this morning before class finishing up. But, when I got to my office this morning and actually tried to work out the problems, I hit a wall and couldn't do ANYTHING. I wrote down a bunch of completely random and disconnected thoughts and couldn't get anything resembling actual solutions. I started to panic. I basically convinced myself that I was going to fail the class and get kicked out of the program. But then I regrouped and tried to find someone around to help me get un-stuck on the problems. By the time I found someone, I actually solved one of the two problems myself and then I got enough help with the other that I could piece together the rest of the solution. All that panic for nothing. But it felt so real at the time!

So, then I turned in the assignment and sat through my classes. Nothing that exciting happened...

After class I came home, and was a little annoyed that I had to do dishes because my kitchen is driving me crazy. But once I started, I was actually kind of enjoying how great the clean kitchen looked. I enjoyed it so much that I just kept on cleaning! I dusted the whole apartment. Then I got out my computer. I paid my November bills and backed up my smartphone and my iPod and my data on my laptop. I installed some updates on my computer I've been putting off (because I wanted to back up my data before I installed any major updates). Next I am planning on doing all my mail filing that I've been putting off, and I'm going to vacuum the apartment. Then I'm going to work on my algebra presentation I have to do within the next week, and write some lectures. I already feel accomplished and I haven't really lost any of my drive to keep going!

For some reason I just feel really energized. I think it's because I'm finally through the terrible-ness that was October and this morning. All my major assignments and deadlines that have been hanging over my head have passed. Aside from watching Steeler games, I only have 3 non-school things on my calendar this month. And the only school things on the schedule for this month are basic problem sets. Things have calmed down as much as they're going to in graduate school and I am finally breathing easy. I knew November would feel a lot better than October, but I didn't realize it would basically be an instantaneous transition from insanity to happiness/contentment.

Anyway, before I lose my momentum I'm going to stop talking and start doing. Hope everyone else is enjoying this new month as much as I am.

On busy schedules, exams, and finding a job

2011-10-18T07:53:00.000-05:00

I've calmed down tremendously. I think it'll get worse (stress attack tonight or tomorrow) but by Thursday, I'll be cruising and happy again.

Basically, once I'm through October, life will be much easier. Thursday I've got a Complex Analysis midterm and homework due, Saturday I'm going to the Texas State Fair, Sunday I'm going to the Cowboys game, next Wednesday I'm giving an exam and grading it the same day, next Thursday I've got a topology midterm (yeah, it got moved again) and homework due, next weekend I'm going to Bradley's college's homecoming with him (it's going to be fun, but it's a long trip), the following Tuesday I'll have a take-home topology exam due (yeah, we get TWO midterms in that class), and then my life should be more-or-less back to normal. (At some point I have to give a presentation in my algebra class, but there's no set timeline and as long as I present by the end of the semester, I'm fine.) The only part I'm really stressed about is the midterm this week, so if I can just make it to 11AM on Thursday, all I've got left after that is making sure I manage my time well.

By the way, it's still summer weather here. Well, not Texas summer, but normal-people summer. 80's and whatnot. I LOVE IT. It's been so beautiful. Fall may overtake summer as my favorite season while I'm living here, just because the weather is so comfortable. Plus, football is in full swing. In general, life is good.

If you read the above, you'll notice I'm giving my students another exam soon. I finished writing it yesterday, and I love this exam even more than the first one. The material is more interesting and cohesive, the exam flows, and it's much more reasonable in length so I think my students will do better. Just a little more editing and it'll be ready to go. Oh, that reminds me, I only have my lecture notes prepared up through the exam, so I've got to start writing those again soon as well. I've only got 10 more sections to go through out of the book, though, so that's not that bad. I just have to go through and prepare chapters 4 and 5. Chapter 4 is about exponential and logarithmic functions and Chapter 5 is about systems of equations. Chapter 4 will be fun for me and hell for my students, and I'm not sure how Chapter 5 will go...

Yesterday there was a pretty cool talk/presentation given in the department. The speaker discussed tips and tricks for applying to jobs at liberal arts schools. As most of you know, I went to a liberal arts school for my undergrad degree (Ursinus College). The talk brought up all kinds of memories about how Ursinus worked, some of them good, and some of them bad. Basically, it made me angry all over again that some of my favorite professors in the department lost their jobs and were forced to leave. Some of the crap the administration pulled with them was ridiculous. Whenever I think about it, I tell myself I'd never want to work in that kind of environment, where politics that have absolutely nothing to do with your job performance and people who know absolutely nothing about the field you're working in determine whether you keep your job or not. But honestly, that kind of stuff happens in almost every field, not just academia, and certainly not just in liberal arts colleges. Then I think about the positives of educating in a liberal arts college - small classes where you can teach instead of perform, students who are self-motivated and love the material, ability to influence the curriculum and teach what you want to teach (and what your students actually want to learn!) without too many administrative hoops to jump through (in comparison to a public institution), focus on research and student involvement in research without the pressures that I imagine come with doing research at a huge state research institution or a super prestigious huge university, etc. I can think of some of the advantages of big state universities too, now that I'm working in one, but I also think UNT is pretty low stress as far as big universities go. I don't know... I go through phases. Sometimes I think teaching at a college/university would be a sweet gig for me, and sometimes I think I wouldn't be able to stand it. Honestly, I think it would be a unique institution that would actually give me everything I want in a workplace and ALSO need exactly my skill-set and attitude, ie, a perfect fit job. I don't know how one goes about finding the perfect job, or how one times their job search so that they are looking for a job at the exact time that their perfect-fit-place is looking to hire. It just sounds like a bad and stressful set-up.

Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate! But I can't stress about that now; I have a midterm to worry about!

Always something to complain about, I guess

2011-10-14T08:18:00.000-05:00

So, that exam I was expecting to take yesterday got moved to next week. After taking a really hardcore algebra course last year (and a pretty intense complex analysis one this year), I feel like our topology professor is babying our class sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love the class. The material is interesting (and not too challenging yet because it's all stuff I've seen before or very minor extensions of things I've seen before), the professor is a great teacher, and the format is nice (after we turn in homework, we present the problems to the class, which is a great way to learn the concepts, see other ways of doing things, etc.). But this is supposed to be a qualifying-exam-prep-course, and he allows one of the first year students to bitch in class about how many points he did or didn't earn on an assignment (in my opinion, points earned has almost nothing to do with the final grade you earn in a graduate course; it's all about demonstrating understanding), and he took a vote on whether or not to move the exam back a week since he forgot to remind us about the exam in advance. The date was on the syllabus; if as a student you don't mark your calendar with exams on the first day of classes, you sort of "deserve" to forget about an exam and get less time to study.

I know that's harsh, and I would be pissed if the roles were reversed and someone was blogging this same thing about me. I'm just taking a minute to be whiny and selfish. Once I get it out in writing, I can go back to being optimistic and happy. Grad school is hard, and it's nice when a professor cuts you a break. I should be happy about getting an extra week to study. But it just makes next week and the following week so cramped with work for me that I'm having a hard time being happy about it right now. Next Thursday I now have two exams to take back-to-back and a big assignment due. Then the following Tuesday I'll have a take-home-exam due. That Wednesday I'm giving an exam in the class I'm teaching (and I have to have it graded same-day since the last day to drop a class is that week and my students need to know where they stand in that class ASAP). And the Thursday of that week I have another big assignment due (maybe 2, if another problem set gets assigned in my other class in the meantime). Luckily I don't have a lot going on this weekend so I should be able to get some work done (even though I don't particularly like working on weekends). Or at least I didn't think I had a lot going on and now my calendar is filling up a bit; hopefully I'll have enough time.

Anyway, this morning, one of the higher-ups in the department is going to be sitting in on my class. It's a new thing they're doing this semester (hopefully they aren't doing this every semester; I feel like that would be a pain for them to try to schedule having someone observe every class every semester). I've been pretty thorough in my lecture preparation for this part of the course. So, that means I'll feel confident, but catastrophe will probably strike and embarrass me at precisely the worst time. :) Can't wait!

Honestly, this semester is flying by, even faster than my first year. I feel like we're still just ramping up the beginning, but it's already half over. It's not the beginning of the semester anymore; we are soundly in the middle now. I don't know what that means, if anything.

Yesterday I had a blog entry drafted in my head in which I would rant about terrible drivers (specifically, bad parking lot drivers). But I never wrote it, and I feel like I've already complained enough for one entry. Just suffice it to say that it continues to surprise me how FAST people drive in parking lots. Every time I walk through one, I fear for my life, as if at any second someone will whip around a corner and run me down. And there are so many close calls that this isn't even an irrational fear. Bad drivers are just as dangerous in parking lots as on highways, and that's pretty amazing to me considering how idiotically some people drive on the highway. Honestly, I'm surprised there aren't MORE automobile-related injuries and deaths than there are. (Just looked it up. In the US in 2009: 1.13 crash-related deaths per 100 million miles traveled, 11.01 deaths per 100,000 population. Surprisingly, this is trending downward over the years... And I couldn't find non-fatal injury stats as easily.)

Okay, that's enough whining for one day. Going to prep to teach. Happy Friday, friends!

Super cool experience in teaching

2011-10-10T10:40:00.001-05:00

This morning I had the awesome feeling of my students (or at least some of them) "getting it." Between today's lecture and last Friday's lecture, 3 different students have piped in with questions that were not only totally relevant, but PRECISELY the next thing we were going to discuss. This means they were asking themselves "Where can we go from here?" or "How is this useful?" which is how a mathematician thinks! And they were asking these questions in the right way, at the right time. I'm so proud of them!

In other news, some of my other students can't follow directions or read, and that's kind of frustrating.

Oh well.

At any rate, just wanted to share that little snippet of some of the joys of grad school. Since I complain so much, I wanted to give some good news too! This week is insanely busy and I have a lot to do, so I can't write more right now. I've got two problem sets due tomorrow, and a midterm on Thursday. Yikes!

PS. I know I complained about that Friday meeting, but it turned out to be a lot of fun and I learned a lot and got a lot out of it. I just wish we could have fun productive meetings at a time that was more convenient for me. Oh well, can't win them all...

Unpredictable speed bumps and my hatred for meetings after noon

2011-10-07T11:31:00.000-05:00

It's Friday morning. So, I should be in for a low stress day of coasting into the weekend?

Of course not.

This morning, I taught at 9AM. I had office hours until 8:50 and a student actually came to ask questions, so I didn't get to class as early as I normally do. I walked up to the room at about 8:58AM and the door is LOCKED. Who locks a classroom door? On a Friday morning? When the university is open and classes are being held? I do not know. But SOMEONE decided to do it to me.

The classroom is not in the same building as the math department office, so I don't have a key to it. I walked around the floor of the building I was in, and there were no administrative offices, so no one important with a key was around. I went into someone else's classroom and used the computer to look up the math department's office number. I didn't have my cell phone on me, so I borrowed a student's phone to call the math department. I explained my predicament and they told me there's nothing they can do. Fabulous!

So, annoyed and, quite honestly, pissed off, I tried to think of something else to do. Then a student told me there was an office downstairs and they could ask them if they had a key to the room. The day was saved! I took attendance in the hallway while waiting for someone to come unlock the door. I started class 6 minutes late and didn't get through all the material for that day, but at least I got to teach.

Oh, and the whole time, one of the students keeps saying "Is class cancelled? Can we go home?" NO. Class is not cancelled. I'll teach in the hallway if I have to!

Grrrr. I'm still coming down from the adrenaline high. It doesn't seem like a big deal, and the more times I tell the story, the more I listen to myself and think "That's not that bad. Much worse things could happen in life." But put yourself in the situation of having 30 college kids sitting in a hallway, staring at you, wondering what you're going to do next, and how you're going to solve this unforeseeable problem that not even the office staff in your department will help you with. They didn't even have a suggestion as to what to do. I was just on my own, standing in a hallway with my students in front of a locked door, with one student nagging me to cancel class. It's a little intimidating, and at the very least super annoying and kind of stressful.

Oh, and now I have a break until 3PM, when I have to meet with one of my professors about possible research in representation theory. I had some suggested (ie, required) reading to do on the topic, and I'm still not all the way through the material. So I get to spend the next 4 hours trying to understand that. Yay.

I mean, I'm excited about research, and the topic is interesting. And apparently once I get past the basics and the algebra of it, there's a lot of combinatorics involved in a lot of the open problems in the field, so that's exciting and really appeals to me. But I don't have the time to grind through extra reading and teach myself new math RIGHT NOW. I have assignments due in both of my core classes on Tuesday that I haven't made any progress on yet, I have several social obligations this weekend that will take away from the amount of time I'll have to spend on the assignments, and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted from a long week.

Plus, I hate afternoon meetings. I can never concentrate and get as much out of them as I would if they were in the morning. And Friday afternoon meetings are especially the worst. The first 20 years of my life, I was a night owl. I could run on 4 hours of sleep every night for weeks and stay up late and still be really productive around the clock. But ever since the summer between sophomore and junior years of college when I started working at ABC and was working 8AM-5PM, I slowly transitioned into a morning person. Now my most productive hours are 7AM-noon. Then it's lunch time. And then I can usually squeeze out 2-3 more hours of productivity if I have to. But after about 3 or 4 PM I'll just be spinning my wheels for the rest of the day. Weekends I can sometimes push these hours of productivity around to other times of day if I have been getting enough sleep. But during the week, when I know I HAVE to be functional at certain times, mornings are best for me. Maybe someday if I ever get to make my own schedule for myself my internal clock will adjust back to its original factory settings. But for now, 7AM-2PM are my productive hours, 2PM-4PM is my naptime (I'm either asleep or wish I was asleep), 4PM-11PM is my relax time (TV, fun, or do some light work that doesn't actually require a lot of thinking, but still needs to get done). I inevitably do have to work in the evenings a lot of the time, but I try to either have that be typing up the work I did earlier in the day, filling in details from work I did earlier in the day, or doing non-school-work that is still work but doesn't require much original thought.

Anyway, that's what's going on in Angela World on this Friday morning. Sorry for all the whining. Have a good weekend!

That old-time grad school feeling is back (if it was ever really gone)

2011-09-26T07:35:00.000-05:00

Thursday and Friday of last week I was really feeling a lot of pressure. I had a lot of work hanging over my head, and I felt like I had lost a few battles throughout the week. It really felt like grad school again. The first few weeks of the semester had been kind of breezy. Not easy, but not overwhelming. Last week it was back to the grind, the crunch, the pressure. But now it's Monday morning and I'm feeling charged and ready. The stress of last week is behind me and I'm ready to start a new, better week. The final draft of the exam I wrote for my students is ready to go (I need to make copies at some point), and one of the two assignments I have to turn in this week is complete (I need to type it up today, though). In the next few days I need to do another problem set, and then do some reading for an outside-of-class project I'm working on (with a professor and a few other students) in representation theory.

Over the weekend, I downloaded some new music to listen to. And the Steelers are coming off a stressful win yesterday. (What is going on with them?! The offensive line can barely block to save their lives, Ben's ball security has been lacking sometimes, they couldn't run the ball last night at all, and they only have one turnover in three games! At least the defense finally started tackling last night after some pretty pathetic attempts in the first two weeks... Get it together, boys!)

Oh, and I've finally rewatched the entire series of Grey's Anatomy. I started over the summer, but it was significantly slowed first by the qualifying exam, then by the fact that school started up again. But I've re-watched all 7 seasons and watched the 2 hour season 8 premiere from last week. Yay! I know that may make me a little lame, but I don't care. I've been faithful to that show since the pilot first aired when I was a junior in high school, even through some terrible storylines. I'm not ashamed. It's my one drama I'm really faithful to; the rest of the shows I watch are comedies. Besides, I expect this season or next season will be their last.

Okay, that's enough insight into me for now. I'm going to get a jump on the week now so I don't unravel like last week. Wish me luck!

The cool thing about hanging out with theoretical mathematicians is...

2011-09-20T08:54:00.001-05:00

I'm finally able to verbalize another big reason that grad school was definitely the best choice for me. I am fascinated by the fine line between the known and the unknown. I am extremely impressed by mathematicians that are not only aware of this line, but walk it in their careers.

A major concern I've had as I move through grad school is that I'm so far removed from research (I haven't done any since between sophomore and junior years of college) and I don't have any idea about what's an open question and what's already known in any given field of math. Feeling this far away from real math research sometimes makes me worried that I'll never find a good dissertation topic, or even know where to look for one. But recently I've been going to presentations/talks in the department and talking to faculty in the department, and it's helped me get some idea of where some areas of research stand. The vast knowledge base of professional mathematicians, and their sensitivity to the line between the known and the unknown, is so exciting to me. I often don't understand what they're saying, because the math is way above my head, but when someone says "Here is a bunch of background" and then "Here is a recent result" (that they discovered personally or that they're just aware of in the field) and then they talk about next steps to find answers to questions for which no one in the history of mankind knows the answers, I find it exhilarating.

I want to get to that point. I want to become such an expert at something, that I am completely aware of its current limitations, and be an active participant in expanding the category of "things humans know." People continue to ask me what I want to do once I graduate with a PhD in math. I've considered the possibility of going back into industry, in a place like where I did my internship as an undergraduate, but in a position more suited to my abilities. Now that I'm actually aware of how important and exciting research is to me, though, I don't know if I could do that. I think I'd have to still be involved in research after I get my degree, either in academia, or in a position that still allows me to continue research in theoretical mathematics. The farther I get into my PhD program, the closer I'll get to being an expert in some niche topic. If after graduation I left that to do something else entirely, I think I would miss that feeling of being cutting-edge.

It's still early, so it's hard to tell what I'll be when I grow up. :) And in the past few weeks, I've thought more about how I might get bored with teaching after a while. But, if teaching a few classes every semester is the price I have to pay to still be heavily involved in something I really do love, then I don't think that would be too bad. I guess we shall see...

Exam Writing

2011-09-16T11:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry that lately my blog has become more about my adventures in teaching than my adventures in grad school or Texas, but this is the first semester I'm teaching my own class, so it's new and somewhat exciting and that's what I want to talk about.

I drafted my first exam this week. I wrote a really awesome exam. About 5 or 6 questions are quick and can be answered with little or no calculation; you just have to understand basic concepts. The rest of the problems require more detailed processes (calculations and reasoning).

I knew as I was writing it that it was WAY too long to be completed in 50 minutes for a college algebra student. I was going to have some of my colleagues look it over and ask their opinions about what I should cut out. It would be a lot easier to cut out questions than generate more content if needed, and getting input from other people who have taught the class before would be helpful.

BUT I was inspired with a fabulous idea! I won't cut ANYTHING out! I'll just structure the exam so that the first half are questions everyone has to do, and the last half they can choose which problems they want. That way I don't have to cut anything out, but it can still be reasonable to expect them to do "all" of it.

I have 13 questions written right now, so I think 7 will be required then they can choose 3 of the other 6. (I'll have to see how long the optional questions are and that will determine how many of them they have to do.) I am really excited about this development.

I feel a little weird, because I'm like 3 sections ahead in the book of most of the other people teaching the course. But, I wrote my own schedule like this because I want to be able to take my time on the later chapters that have some really difficult concepts in them. I hope it works out to benefit my students and speeding up at the beginning doesn't cost them understanding of the basics. So far they've exceeded my expectations - a majority of the students have been doing all of the assignments on time, and class attendance has been pretty good (usually I have about 5 of 35 students out on any given day; today 9 were absent which is much higher than normal). The first exam is in 2 weeks, so we'll see how well they're really understanding the material then.

In general, this semester has been amazing so far. All of the classes I'm taking are very interesting (Lie algebra topics course, and the core graduate courses in complex analysis and topology), I'm keeping up with all my coursework, and my teaching responsibilities haven't been too time consuming or difficult. Last week football started, and next week most of the TV shows I watch premiere their new seasons, so my life is busy, full, and enjoyable. One thing that's been a huge benefit is that on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the only thing I have to do is go to class from 9:30-12:30. I have my afternoons completely "free." I have that unstructured time for running errands, doing homework, etc. I usually go home right after class and it's nice to have two afternoons per week that I know I have alone time and I can be as productive as I want/need to be, or can relax if I don't have a lot of deadlines coming up. Fridays are also sort of open. I have to be on campus from 8-11 for office hours and teaching, but after that I'm "free." Usually there are seminars/talks/presentations in the afternoons that I want to go to, or friends want to go out to lunch, so I stay on campus for much of the afternoon. But sometimes I even get a Friday afternoon off!

As for Texas, it's been unseasonably "cold" here. Monday and Tuesday of this week it did hit 100 degrees, but Sunday and Wednesday/Thursday/Friday it was no warmer than the 90s in the day and down in the 70s at night. It has been really nice walking to and from school in this weather. I don't mind the heat when it's here, but when it goes away, it doesn't get bitter cold; it just gets bearable. That's the part of Texas weather I love the best. I'm really looking forward to leaving Texas for Pennsylvania for a visit, but I'm not looking forward to the fact that it will be in December, and it will probably be disgustingly cold. On the plus side, I just bought Pens tickets - 8 rows behind the goal! I've never been to a Pens game before (or any NHL game for that matter; the only hockey games I've been to were for my high school's roller hockey team), so I'm not sure if that means the seats are good or not, but I'm excited nonetheless! This is on top of the good seats we already have for the Steelers/Rams game on Christmas Eve. That is going to be such a fun week!

Best thing to happen to me yet while teaching

2011-09-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

A student fell asleep in class today. After class was over, the rest of the class scurried out while I was packing up my teaching-things. I was the last one out of the room, and the kid was still sprawled on his desk sleeping.

This will end in one of two ways: either the kid wakes up and the room is empty, or the kid is woken up by someone in the next class that uses the room after my class (it's some kind of foreign language class; I believe an Eastern language because I saw the next teacher carry the book into the class once). Either way he is going to be confused and probably embarrassed. It makes me giggle thinking of either of these outcomes. Also, I love the fact that none of my other students in the class that were sitting around him woke him up before they left. Muahahaha.

That's the most exciting thing going on right now though. I have some homework to do. And I only have 3 sections worth of lectures left to write and then I'm going to be able to write my first exam ever. I am actually really excited to write exams for my class. I already have several ideas about what kinds of questions I want to ask. The hardest part will be selecting the absolutely most important types of questions. It's all pretty important, and the exam will cover two whole chapters that are quite dense with material. A lot of topics overlap though, or have question types that can cover more than one of the topics we discussed. So... I guess we'll see how it goes.

In other news, I quit Facebook, at least for now. I've been flip-flopping on the issue for a year or two now, especially since I graduated college. It's very convenient to be able to broadcast to and hear updates from all my friends from Pennsylvania all at once all in one place, but the day to day was getting grueling. It wasn't one incident, or one person. There are just too many people that get too sensitive about every little thing on the Internet that bothers them. I'm just removing myself from the situation. I'm leaving Facebook for the same reason I don't ever comment on news articles or join message boards or forums.

The Internet is not real life. It is sometimes a reflection of reality, but it's not the whole picture. No one's Internet identity is their actual identity, myself included. But when online frivolity affects real-world interactions, social networking is working against its intended purpose. It is supposed to bring people together and allow open communication; not separate people and shut down communication.

Oh, and besides the reasons above, some people are just plain annoying on Facebook, but you can't get rid of them because you know them in real life (and presumably don't find them quite as annoying in real life). If you don't know what I mean, I will refer you to The Oatmeal's take on the subject.

For now I'll stick to blogging. It's not a broadcast among the masses. You have to specifically come to my site if you want to hear my views. I've always said: if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you don't have to come here and read it. It's not like you're already here for something else anyway and incidentally have to read my ramblings.

Anyway, I don't mean to sound so upset about it, because really I'm not. It's not like anyone NEEDS Facebook, and that's just one more distraction I've eliminated from getting things accomplished in my real life. With that said, it's time to start accomplishing things in real life. There are topology problems that aren't going to solve themselves, and lectures that aren't going to write themselves!

PS. If there's one topic that you thought I'd address that is notably absent, it's intentional. Yes, I'm aware that football season has begun, and no I'm not going to comment on yesterday's events because I've already done enough bitching here for one day.

One fish, two fish, big news, little news!

2011-09-05T22:07:00.001-05:00

Ew. Blogger has me using the "new interface." I do not like it. I've been using the old interface for YEARS now, so I'm pretty resistant to change. Also, the new-post page that I'm typing in right now is really bare and it's creeping me out. My screen is a big white & light gray box of nothing.

Oh well, I guess that means I just have to fill it with words or something.

I guess the big news I have is that I passed the qualifying exam I took last month! I used an exclamation point there, but most of the excitement has faded. I'm happy and relieved. But I just haven't been able to keep up the excitement I felt the first day or two after I found out. The result reinforces that I can do this, and that this is what I should be doing. It's not a foolish endeavor that I have no chance of completing, like I worried it might be before I actually started. When I started grad school, a lot of professors helped me set realistic expectations about how difficult and sometimes-demoralizing grad school in math can be, so I was expecting to grind through the next few years with a lot of speed bumps and tears. It hasn't been easy, but I think coming in with realistic expectations has helped me put in the appropriate amount of work to make success possibly achievable.

I've also started teaching, like, for real. My students seem pretty good (we'll see after the first exam). I'm still a little behind in the material I wanted to have covered by now because I spent a LOT more time on preliminary stuff (syllabus, etc) on the first day and not as much time talking about actual mathematics. But I'm blowing through material now at a good pace. I should finish Chapter 1 this week, and then be able to make up the time in Chapter 2. Or, I hope I make up the time in Chapter 2; I have to cover all of Chapters 1 and 2 before my fixed date for the first exam. Oh, and I made up a 10 page worksheet over prerequisite material for the students to do for extra credit and I'm having them turn it in this Friday. I'm really intrigued to see if they know what they're doing or if they're totally lost. All the homework and quizzes for the class I'm teaching are controlled centrally by the department and are done through an online platform, so I don't get to see their abilities, work, ideas, or progress except for on exams. It's super nice not to have to logistically deal with homework and quizzes, and it's good for the department to have control over continuity since so many students take this course with so many different instructors every semester and they all have to be prepared for the next course, but there are still some drawbacks, especially as an instructor.

Also, our student evaluation of teaching comments were made available last week, and my students from last semester had a lot of really nice things to say about me and how I teach. None of the criticism was helpful in a way that I could do anything to change it, but a lot of the compliments were specific things they liked about how I taught that I worked really hard to be good at, so it's nice to know it was appreciated.

Finally, a random thought: At Ursinus, we didn't get Labor Day off; we had classes on that day every year. My freshman year, I was fake-outraged. HOW CAN THEY MAKE US GO TO SCHOOL ON A HOLIDAY?! But then I sort of got used to it. So, now that I'm at a normal public school now, it's pretty awesome to get things like national holidays off. I have laid around in sweatpants in my apartment all day watching TV. Pretty sweet gig.

Tomorrow it's back to school, though.

I think I'm going to try to post more often now. Once the semester really kicks it into gear, I may not have the time, but I think I'll still try to tell myself I can post short updates even when I don't feel like being thorough. I can tell a little anecdote about my day. My days are FULL of anecdotes. You don't even know. But anyway, my reason for this new goal is that I am planning on ditching my Facebook account this week so I think it would be best if I feel connected to the outside world in SOME way, and this blog will be what is left. YOU'RE WELCOME. It's going to be awesome, don't worry.

First qual: complete

2011-08-18T09:49:00.003-05:00

My summer-long narcissism ended yesterday. The qualifying exam is over, so now I can let myself care about other things.

It's hard to explain the qualifying exam process to non-math-grad people, but I'll try... It's a pass/fail exam and you can't advance in the program without it. Here, they offer 5 or 6 different specialty areas, and you have to pass exams in 2 different areas within 5 total attempts. I took my first attempt at my first exam yesterday. The way the algebra exam is structured here is that it's broken down into 3 categories: groups, rings & fields, and modules & linear algebra. Usually there are 12 total questions (4-3-5 or 4-4-4) and you are supposed to do 8 complete problems with at least 2 out of each section. The exam we got yesterday had 15 total questions, 5 in each section, and we got to choose 8 problems with at least 2 from each section. So, we got more selection than usual. The problems are complex and long, and you basically are not allowed to assume anything - you have to build all the math you need from scratch.

The general understanding I have is that you have to turn in 4 completely correct solutions for the grading committee to even consider passing you. If you turn in 6 or more completely correct problems, you're almost guaranteed to pass. If you turn in something in between there, the committee basically votes on whether or not you deserve to pass. I fall into the last category, the one where my fate is now in the hands of the committee. I turned in 7 problems. I'm confident that 4 of them were pretty much completely correct. The other 3 I turned in were of varying completeness. On two of them I was just missing one little part of the argument (well, I think it was a little part, but if that was those parts turned out to be the major point of them putting the problems on the exam, the committee might think I missed the whole point and not give me any credit for it). The last problem I turned in was a pretty easy 2-part problem that I'd done before. I couldn't remember the trick to the second part, though, so I'm sure that won't earn me any points. I didn't have enough work done on any of the other problems to think turning something in would help so I didn't turn in an 8th problem - hopefully that doesn't count against me...

So, now I just wait. It'll take anywhere from a week to a month to find out if I passed. If I failed, I have to decide if I want to retake it in January or in August.

In other news, there's a week until classes start again! I have to plan the course I'm teaching in that time. Other than that, I intend to relax and do whatever I want. This will likely entail sitting around the apartment watching movies and TV on DVD pretty much nonstop. I may do some reading, recreational or mathematical, but I haven't decided yet. I also have to send some letters and e-mails and maybe make some phone calls since I've been basically incommunicado the past few weeks because of the qual.

Ah, nothing beats this feeling. Life is good.

Exciting upcoming events... and pictures!

2011-07-25T12:14:00.005-05:00

(1) The Algebra Qual: I have made some progress studying. Not ENOUGH progress, but progress nonetheless. I am working through past exams' problems alone and with a study group, and I am also reading 3-4 different abstract & linear algebra books concurrently. The exam date is set for Wednesday, August 17th. So, for better or for worse, this will all be over by 6PM 23 days from now. If I pass, I can start trying to decide what topic I want to take my second exam in; if I fail, I can immediately start studying to retake the algebra exam in January.

(2) Mini-Travels: I spent the latter part of last week in Montana & Wyoming. I got to increase my number of US states visited to 23, and then 24 (I'm almost halfway!!). It is absolutely beautiful up there. The mountains and streams and waterfalls and stuff are breathtaking. I visited Yellowstone National Park for the first time, and I would love to be able to spend more than just a day there at some point. The summer weather is perfect up there too - 75-85 degrees in the daytime and chilly at night. And apparently it barely ever rains - just short showers that are enough to keep it green up there. The best part of the trip was visiting with a friend that I haven't seen in a while, though. So all the amazing views were BONUS. Here are a couple pictures:

Above: A hot spring.

Above: me with a waterfall.

Above: The Beehive Geyser, a geyser that shoots higher than Old Faithful, but less predictably.

Above: Yellowstone Lake

Above: fields and hills and mountains, on our way out of the park.

(3) FOOTBALL: Word on the street is that the NFL Lockout will probably end today/tomorrow. That means the next week or so will be crazy with free agency moves! I am so excited for football to be back. Baseball is okay, and I'm glad the Pirates are doing well and contending for their division, but Pittsburgh Steelers football is my one true love, and definitely my strongest sports-related love. If the schedule remains unchanged, training camp would start this week, the first preseason game should be in about 2 and a half weeks, and the first regular season game is in about 7 weeks.

(4) Regular-size travels (as opposed to mini-travels): I booked flights yesterday to come home to Pittsburgh twice in December - once for a wedding and once for Christmas (and to go to the Christmas Eve Steelers game, which I also got tickets for!). Those will be the next trips I make, I think. Since it was so expensive to travel twice in December, I don't really have money to go anywhere else for the rest of the year. But that's fine by me because for the rest of the summer I need to focus on the qual, and during the semester I'll have classes to worry about. Besides, as long as I get to go to a Steelers game this season, I don't really care about anything else (sorry, Philly friends, that I am implying that I'd rather see the Steelers than you... I still miss you all, but I can't be everywhere at once).

Well, I need to get back to studying. Hope you're all enjoying the summer and staying cool!

Regarding pi...

2011-07-12T12:29:00.003-05:00

This is a "hot topic" among mathematicians recently, I guess. At the very least, a bunch of my fellow grad students have weighed in on the topic recently. So, I know nobody else may care what my opinion is, but I wanted to voice it SOMEWHERE. Facebook seemed like the wrong place for a long-winded response on a niche topic, so I thought my own personal blog was the most logical place to blab away. After all, if you don't want to know what I think about things, why are you reading my blog?

Basically, around Pi Day and "Tau Day" this year (3/14 and 6/28, respectively), some major news outlets had little pieces about the importance of Pi, and about the emergence in math&science culture of an argument to eradicate Pi and instead define a constant called Tau, which would be equal to 2Pi.

Of the things I read:

News article 1: http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/innovation/03/14/pi.tau.math/index.html?iref=obnetwork

News article 2: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13906169

The Official-ish page for Tau: http://tauday.com/

Essentially, they claim that while Pi is historically speaking the conventional standard, it is not the most logical choice for the "circle constant." The argument against Pi goes something like this:

Pi is defined as the ratio of the circumference (C) of a circle to its diameter (d). In other words, Pi=C/d, no matter what circle you're talking about.

Since a circle is defined in terms of the radius (a technical definition of a circle is: "the set of all points a fixed distance [the radius] from a single point [the center]"), why is the circle constant defined in terms of the diameter? Wouldn't it make more sense to relate it to the definition, the radius?

So, they suggest the circle constant should be in terms of C and r, not C and d. As you may remember from grade school, d=2r, so Pi=C/(2r) and C/r = 2Pi. So, set Tau=2Pi and start using that because it "makes more sense."

I just read the "Tau Manifesto" (third link above) and while the author makes a few good points, his argument is not as irrefutable as he wants people to believe. So, I want to make a few points of my own...

First, his arrogance disgusts me. If he wants to be taken seriously, I think he should spend more time on persuasive arguments than on ending every other paragraph with "I bet you feel like a fool NOW, don't you?" That does not make his argument stronger. In my opinion, these assertions weaken his argument because I cannot take someone seriously who is trying to use bullying techniques to revolutionize mathematics and science and change a centuries-old convention.

Second, I do like his initial appeal to the technical definition of a circle. Yes, circles are defined in terms of their radius. So, I can buy into the argument that other circle-related things should also relate back to the radius. But there are good reasons for using diameter in this situation - mainly that diameter is a measurable quantity. If you want the radius of some physical circular object, you do not measure it -you measure the whole way across the circle (the diameter) and divide by 2. So, when the ratio for the circle constant was originally discovered and calculated, they related two things that they could measure to each other. A practical definition for this constant was chosen, not a "wrong" definition.

Third, the only supporting evidence he had that I found convincing was that it makes sense to make the period of sine and cosine, and the measure in radians around a circle, its own unit, namely Tau. Currently we say the period of sine and cosine is 2Pi and the measure around a circle of radius 1 is 2Pi. He is all bent out of shape about a factor of 2 appearing in so many important places, saying that students hate to have to remember to multiply something by 2. (By the way, in the places in math where Pi - which is Tau/2 - shows up instead of 2Pi, I would argue that students hate fractions (namely 1/2) more than they hate multiplying something by 2...)

However, the assertion that teaching trigonometry using 2Pi instead of Tau is a "pedagogical disaster" is ridiculous. I can't speak for anyone else involved in teaching pre-calculus or trigonometry (either as instructor of record or recitation instructor), but when I taught it last year, I did not find that thinking of 2Pi as the distance around the circle is what students struggled with. Saying One-Tau is the distance around the circle instead of Two-Pi is intuitive (ignoring the obvious problems of converting everyone alive that learned basic math with the traditional symbols to entirely new ideas); I can admit that. But saying that Two-Pi is so confusing that students can never get past their confusion with that concept to learn other things is just plain wrong. The biggest problems I saw in teaching trigonometry were with analytical thinking, BASIC algebraic manipulation of quantities, and learning new definitions. Students already know how to find the circumference of a circle, so thinking about a circle of radius 1 having a circumference of 2Pi is not difficult for them.

Fourth, his argument about the Eulerian identity (e^(i*Pi)=-1 OR e^(i*Tau)=1) is moot. It's a beautiful identity either way, and measuring in terms of Pi or Tau is a matter of what you're measuring angles with. I do not see any advantage to using Tau in place of Pi when thinking about this context exclusively.

Lastly, he considers the cherry on top of his argument to be replacing Pi with Tau in the formula for the area of a circle: A=Pi*r^2 OR A=(1/2)*Tau*r^2. I actually see this as his weakest point. Basically, he claims that because a bunch of physics formulas that model natural processes and forces have a factor of 1/2 in them, the formula for the area of a circle should have a 1/2 in it too. I call bullshit on that, especially after his whining about adding extra factors into calculations involving the unit circle and trig functions confuse students beyond repair and implies that they need years of psychiatric treatment to deal with such hardship. (Okay, now I'm the one exaggerating things a bit. But that just further proves my point that being over-dramatic makes you look less convincing.)

All in all, I think it doesn't really matter. The point is, Pi naturally occurs in the relationship between Circumference and Diameter, and since diameter is easily related to the radius, with a simple substitution you can relate Circumference to Radius and call it something else (Tau, here). I don't think they are fundamentally different (as the author of the "manifesto" claims) and I don't think one is right and the other is wrong. As with much notation in mathematics, it is a matter of convention and Pi is the convention and has been the standard since the relationship was discovered. These people want a revolution and want to change convention. It has happened plenty of times before in society. But math isn't a social science and I don't really see why change is necessary. I think it's cute for mathematicians to have something to argue about, but I think it's a silly cause to take up. I also think his attitude is all wrong. If you're going to convince a bunch of people who only listen to logical arguments, it makes little sense to spritz your manifesto with flowery language that tries to bully the reader into thinking the same thing you do; anyone who disagrees is perpetuating "unadulterated madness" (section 4.5).

He anticipates responses like mine, and addresses people that agree with my previous paragraph saying we are "making excuses" for Pi. To that, I say that people who agree with his argument are making excuses for being too lazy to multiply a constant (Pi) by another constant (2) when it is warranted, and to use just one constant (Pi) whenever that is warranted. Why is using Tau and sometimes dividing by 2 FUNDAMENTALLY SUPERIOR to using Pi and multiplying by 2 sometimes? I'm not sold on that.

On Algebra...

2011-07-06T14:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I completely finished reading and typing two years (four semesters) worth of algebra notes. (One year undergrad, one year graduate.) I'd been working on it with varying intensity and focus for about one month, so it feels really good to be done with that.

(Aside: For any non-math people that may still be reading out there, this is not algebra in the sense that you're thinking. It has very little to do with solving 3x+4=7 for x. Here's an example problem that is sitting in front of me right now: "If G is a finite group of order p^n for a prime p and a positive integer n, show that G has a nontrivial center and that for every k less than or equal to n there exists a normal subgroup of G of order p^k." And that's actually one of the easy problems.)

Now I'm in serious study mode. The plan is to work toward committing definitions, concepts, theorems, and proofs to memory. I ordered three linear algebra books from amazon today, and I'm borrowing other algebra texts from a colleague. These textbooks are reading material on top of the aforementioned in-class notes I've taken the past two years, and the notes that my graduate algebra professor posted online. I'm going to spend the next month and a half reading, learning, and most important: problem-solving.

In preparation, to know where I should focus these efforts based on past exams, I spent today reading previous algebra qual problems. I started at 9AM and have been working pretty steadily since then, with only a short lunch break (and now a short writing break). Within the first 30-60 minutes, I entered despair and thought "I'll never know enough to be able to take a test at this level." Then after lunch I started encountering problems I recognized (proven in class, done on past homework assignments, etc.) and thought "With some studying, I might actually be able to get a handle on this material." And now, 5 hours into today's work, I found one part of one problem where I thought "I could totally do this one completely correctly off the top of my head RIGHT NOW."

I feel comfortable with the general concepts and most of the definitions of terms. In reading these past problems, I understand what they're asking me to do (most of the time). I just need to practice enough to know HOW to do what they're asking. If I continue preparing at the rate I've been working at this week, I think I can enter the exam room confident enough to not completely sweat through my clothes and start crying uncontrollably. The pressure placed on math phd students with regards to qualifying exams is unbelievable, but I'm trying to overcome that stress and be a realist. We'll see how it goes.

Summer is here!

2011-07-04T09:19:00.002-05:00

Good news, finally made some more measurable progress in studying this weekend. And this week I'm going to really kick it into high gear. Today begins the last week of the first summer session. I have two more homework assignments to grade then I won't have any work to do for the rest of the summer except to study for the qual. And I had some checkpoints that I wanted to be at with regards to studying before the end of the first summer session, so I'm going to get there by Friday/Saturday.

In completely unrelated news, I have some follow-up to my previous entry about the children-in-the-supermarket-incident. I was in Best Buy the other day and a mom had pulled her cart out of the way of the main traffic, but her child had wandered off. The girl started meandering her way back to the cart, but stopped in the middle of one of the narrower aisles and was just kind of looking around. It stopped me in my tracks so I wouldn't run her over, and someone was coming down the aisle in the opposite direction I was, and they were stopped too. The mother immediately walked over and grabbed the child and brought her back to the cart. As the other shopper and I were walking away now that the obstruction was removed, I could hear the mother pointing at us and telling her child sternly "You need to stay out of the way. You stopped THAT lady from going where she was going and THAT man from going where he was going." It was nice and refreshing to hear a parent try to instill the consequences of their actions to a kid, as opposed to completely letting it go and not caring who their children inconvenience. The terribly annoying supermarket kids were at least 5 years older than the Best Buy girl, and they WERE old enough to know the consequences of their actions, where this girl was still learning. So I witnessed a little beacon of hope in a mass of stupid kids & parents. I just thought I'd post something positive on the subject so people don't think I am completely heartless.

Anyway, it's really heating up here in Texas. If I get out of the house in the morning, when it's still ONLY 93 degrees outside, it feels COOL and refreshing. In the middle of the afternoon it's usually above 100 and it is a noticeable difference from the morning temperatures. Still, I'm surviving and keeping cool and hydrated. And I'll trade this every day for 2-3 months in exchange for the crappy northern winters. Down here, if it gets snowy or icy or too cold, everything shuts down and I can just stay home. Up north, it's snowy/icy/cold every day for months, so you just have to go about your normal life. Yuck.

Grading...

2011-06-26T18:40:00.003-05:00

Grading for a class that you're not teaching is weird. I mean, I really like the idea of large universities helping out professors teaching the large classes by hiring people to grade the homework for them (or using software to manage homework, which I haven't fully formed an opinion on yet. When I teach College Algebra next semester my students will have to do their homework online, so I guess I'll have more to say about it then). If I were teaching a class of 150 students, or 2-3 sections with 150 students each, or even 50 or 60 students per section for that matter, I wouldn't want to have to grade weekly homework AND weekly quizzes (if I gave them for that class) AND 3-5 exams. That's so much work.

But, I do enjoy grading. When I was teaching Pre-Calculus recitation the last two semesters, I had to grade all of the weekly quizzes, and do a first-pass at grading the exams (the lecturer did the official grading of exams to keep it consistent since different students had different recitation instructors). I enjoy seeing the progress of individual students, and the class as a group. It is great for me to witness their mathematical growth as it is happening. I like being able to tell where pretty much all of my students seem to be clear about what is happening, and where I need to either do a better job, or spend more time, or make adjustments, or whatever. I enjoy writing comments about where things went wrong, or where I'm particularly impressed with their work. I know when I was an undergrad, comments like that on my work really made me feel great. I liked knowing that the professor was paying attention to what I was doing and noticed when I was doing well or when I needed help. And I think at a large state university, that feeling is even more important for individual students.

Anyway, that was last school year. For the summer session, I am the paid homework grader for an undergraduate differential equations class that someone else is teaching. I don't know any of the students. I don't ever see them or have to interact with them, except through what I anonymously write in red ink on their homework papers. The anonymity was a struggle at first. I perceived that I was bolder in what I wrote since the students didn't know me and wouldn't take offense or at least wouldn't direct any negative feelings toward me if I was harsh on their homework. But, I think in reality I am nicer because (1) I don't know if they're hearing something different in the classroom and I don't want to penalize them for something their professor is telling them to do and (2) if the students are going to bitch, they aren't going to complain to me - they're going to complain to their teacher - and I don't want to cause the professor any grief because of complaints about homework grades.

I think the weirdest thing to me about grading for someone else, though, is that I can't see where the mistakes are being made and make adjustments in my teaching, because I'm not the one teaching. I see the same mistakes assignment after assignment after assignment because I can't communicate the bad pattern to the students. With my own students, if I saw common errors on the quiz, I pointed them out and showed them the correct way to do it when I handed them back so that they wouldn't make the mistake again. I don't have that control in this scenario and it is weird for me. Not that I think their professor is doing a bad job - I actually think he's awesome. I just think that there is a deficiency in prerequisite material that the students don't even realize they have. And I've seen that ALL too much in the small amount of time I've been teaching - students don't retain mathematical information that they should have already learned but did not fully absorb. It's really frustrating, but you've just gotta work from where they are and get them where they need to be. It's hard work! (For the educator, as well as the student...)

Bad, bad thoughts

2011-06-20T17:06:00.003-05:00

So, in reading over old algebra notes, I am now thinking "This isn't that bad. It should be easy to study for this qualifying exam."

To punish myself, I am now going to actually do some of the math (work out some of the problems, proofs, and exercises without my notes), instead of just skimming over the definitions. That should get me back to pee-myself-scared of failing.

But in all honesty, other than the fact that part of my brain is trying to convince the other part of my brain something it knows isn't true, today has been a super productive day. I had the best workout I've had in a long time (maybe ever), I got a lot of administrative keeping-my-life-in-order stuff done, I made a key for a homework assignment I have to grade tonight, and I did more algebra today than I've done in about a week.

Maybe my optimism problem is coming from the fact that I'm in such a great mood today that I'm even feeling good about something that I should be terrified of. I guess if my biggest problem is that I'm happy and confident, I should stop complaining...

Finally some concrete plans on what I'm doing with my summer!

2011-06-10T09:25:00.004-05:00

Finally figured out what I'm doing this summer. I'll be getting a little less than 2 months' worth of pay (compared to normal monthly paychecks during the last school year) for the 3 months of summer. (Which is good; it's more than I expected to earn through departmental support this summer.) I was originally scheduled to work only the first 5-week summer session. Then, when the official schedule came out, I was scheduled to work 7-11AM Monday-Thursday for all 10 weeks of summer in the math tutoring center. However, my final assignment ended up being only for the first summer session (the first 5 weeks of summer, and we just finished week one). I'll be grading all the homework for an undergrad differential equations class. It's nice because I can do it on my own time, instead of being scheduled for a certain shift. Plus, I really like grading. But it's a little scary, because I only took undergrad diff eq myself a little over a year ago (spring 2010), so I'm not an expert. So, I have to be really careful when creating my grading keys that I don't make mistakes and punish students who did the problem correctly. I'm given the final answers for the problems out of the book, but not complete solutions, so I have to understand how to do the problems to be able to issue partial credit. Plus, some of the assignments are custom-written by the instructor, so I REALLY have to know what I'm doing there, since he's not making an answer key for those. It'll be an interesting summer. I've already finished grading one assignment, though, and that went really well.

The biggest advantage of this arrangement is that I don't have to work at all the second half of summer (basically after the week of the 4th of July). This means I'll have 5-6 weeks of intensive studying for the algebra qualifying exam with no other commitments. My plan is to have all of my notes from both years of algebra completely typed up (I'm about halfway done with this already) AND to have already read all of the notes my professor posted online this past year AND to have started going through exercises (from the online notes, and from previous qualifying exams) by the time the first summer session is over. That way, during the second half of summer, I can focus completely on just doing practice problems and collaborating with others who are studying to help them with problems they can't get and get help with problems I can't get. It's going to be a lot of work but honestly, I'd rather push myself completely to my limits in the next 9-10 weeks and then have something to show for it (a passed qualifying exam) than do some half-assed, hurried studying and fail and then have to make up for lost ground. The quals are altogether a terrifying process, but I'm cautiously optimistic...

In other news, the rest of my summer goals are going quite well. I've been making almost-regular visits to the gym, and I'm already on my third book of recreational reading. I've also worked my way into season 3 of Bones on Netflix. There's a lot going on socially this weekend, but I think I may have to pass on some of the festivities so that I can scratch some things off my to-do list and make some progress on my algebra studying. In addition to my extensive math to-do list, as described above, I also want to go through my apartment and do some cleaning - throwing out things I know I don't need and donating some clothes to charity that I don't wear anymore. I bought a lot of new clothes while I was in Pennsylvania last month, so my dresser is overflowing again.

As crazy & busy as my summer will be, I'm really enjoying it. I love Texas in general, and the town I live in, and the people I associate with. I can't imagine my life unfolding in any other way. :)

Oh, and while I don't anticipate any vacationing or travelling for the rest of the summer, I am looking forward to planning some trips for the fall & winter of next year. (1-2 trips home, and maybe a Christmas vacation destination!) So, whenever I get tired of the day-to-day here, I am researching flight costs and trip itineraries for 5-7 months in the future. Never a dull moment!

Productivity galore!

2011-06-03T22:13:00.000-05:00

It's been a great week. Very productive. I've done a little recreational reading almost every day. I've worked on math almost every day. I've paid rent, played tennis, gotten horribly lost trying to find the gym, eventually found the gym and exercised there, washed 5 loads of laundry (from the time I was in PA to present), washed my dishes, spoken (well, IMed) with some people I haven't talked to in a long time, and streamed a bunch of episodes of Bones on Netflix. (I got through all of season one last summer when I first moved here, before school started. Now I'm hoping to get caught up this summer so I can watch next season while it's actually on. I'm totally into it, so hopefully it won't take long. I've got a long way to go, though. I'm halfway through Season 2 of 6.)

As far as my reading goes, I read one book while I was in PA, and then I started re-reading The Hobbit. I'm about 1/3 of the way through that. Then I've got to decide if I want to stick with Tolkien through the whole trilogy, or if I want to take a break and read something I haven't read yet. I have a bunch of options for new reads, so I'll probably go with that. I bought a few books last year that I haven't read yet, and I received a bunch of new books as birthday presents this year from friends. How will I choose?!

As for my current math endeavors, I have completely typed up all definitions and theorems (and some other helpful things) out of my year's worth of undergraduate algebra notes. I was going to move to my year's worth of grad notes next, but I think I might take a little bit of a break from that and do some basic statistics, Calculus 1 & 2, and Linear Algebra review this weekend. Next week I'll start working in the math tutoring center. I only have to work 5 weeks this summer - during the first summer session here. Those are the four classes that are being held that students may come in with questions about that I don't completely remember, so I need to make sure I get caught up so that I can do my job well. Then I'll get back to typing up graduate algebra notes. I've already pulled the PDFs that our professor posted online this year. Once I'm done typing my in-class notes, I'm going to read the PDFs and work through the (homework) exercises he gives in them. Then (or, more likely concurrently, not first this-then that) I'll work through the problems on the old qualifying exams. So much to do - so little time! I'm actually glad I only have to work 5 weeks and not all 10 weeks of summer sessions.

Finally, my last major endeavor this summer (besides reading and math-ing) is getting in shape. I hope to lose some weight without altering my diet too much. I'm lazy in that I don't want to change what I eat, but I'm willing to put forth physical effort, so I hope that may pay off. We shall see...

Starting last Sunday I was gearing up in my attempts at these goals, but as of Wednesday (two days ago) I got pretty serious about it. Hopefully my motivation lasts. It's already dreadfully hot here in Texas (I'm not complaining - I love it - I'm simply stating a fact). While I don't mind the heat, the fact that I still don't have a car really is going to wear on my will over time to leave the house and walk places when it's 90-100 degrees outside.

When I was home there was some family drama cooking up, so hopefully that doesn't flare up and throw me off track at all. Not that there's a lot I can do from 1,300 miles away, but I can get distracted by worrying about it. In general, I'm not nearly as much of a worrying person as I used to be, but I am still protective of my siblings.

And now a random thought, brought on by re-reading my rant above about catching up on Bones this summer. 6 of the 7 TV shows I watch with some regularity got renewed for next season! (Mad Love got cancelled, and I'm including Bones in the count of 7.) Unfortunately, they're all on the schedule for Thursday nights overlapping during the same 2 hour period (except Parenthood, which is on Tuesdays). So Hulu is going to have to be my best friend on Fridays next fall or I'm going to have to invest in a TV... and cable... and a DVR... a DVR that records 3 things at once (or records two while I watch one).

Well, anyway, it's about bedtime so I can get up and do all this again tomorrow. Here's to a summer of monotonous productivity!

Vent session re: why I hate children

2011-04-18T20:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I feel it is more appropriate to vent in my private (public) blog than on Facebook.

Every public place I go to I have to avoid stomping on someone's stupid child that gets in my way (or accidentally elbowing them in the head, or running them over, or whatever). For example, today in the grocery store, a fat child races past me and stops exactly in front of where I was walking. Annoying, but I can deal with it. I assumed he would grab some milk (which he did) and then walk away (which he did NOT). His fat sister soon followed, running past me, and stopped when she reached her brother. They began arguing over the milk, playing tug of war with it in the middle of the aisle. They made no indication that they were going to move out of my way. I couldn't go around them because the line for the checkout was too close to where they were. "Excuse me," I said loudly and sternly. They did not even acknowledge they heard me (and yes, I'm sure they weren't deaf - they were talking to each other). At this point, I am FUMING. At the exact second I am ready to yell "GET OUT OF MY WAY!", the checkout line moves forward enough for me to go around and I do. Just as I am walking away, I hear the parent talk to the children behind me (nothing like "You need to get out of the way," but something completely unrelated). I consider turning back around and screaming at the parent to keep their kids out of my way (I wasn't going to word it so kindly...) but I move along.

I am still furious about this. And it's not just this one time at this one place. I have decided that I am just going to start telling the parents of these stupid children exactly what I think of their kids. So, parents of the universe, this is your warning. If your kid gets in my way, I am going to yell and swear at it and at you. I am seriously tired of dealing with it.

I mean, come on, when I went to Vegas over spring break I had to dodge people's stupid kids who were running wild down the strip. In VEGAS? Seriously? What is your child even doing in Vegas? If I were to go a house where a kid lives, or to Chuck E Cheese, or to an elementary school playground at recess (or any playground for that matter), or something like that, I will be tolerant of children running around everywhere. But out in the real world, in normal society, it is just unacceptable.

I don't care that I'm not a parent so I don't know what it's like to try to control a child. It doesn't really matter if I could or couldn't do it because I'm never going to put myself in that situation. And I do know that whenever we were out in public as kids, my mom would make us hold the shopping cart, or hold her hand, or something. We didn't lawlessly run throughout creation. And if my mom can do it as a single mom with 5 kids, then so can these other stupid parents that allow their children to be in my way with no repercussions.

Seriously, though, angry Angela is about to be set loose on the irresponsible parents of the world. And I don't want to sound like a crazy person (although I'm sure that's exactly how I sound in this blog entry), and I'm not saying every child and every parent is like this, so please don't automatically take offense just because you may have kids or really like kids or whatever. I'm just saying there are too many kids in my way and too many parents in the world that let it happen, so for THAT set of parents&children, I am about to become your worst nightmare.

--------------------

In completely other news, the teaching assignments/schedule was released last week for Fall 2011 and I will be teaching my very own class. Pretty exciting! No more TAing; I now get all the control, and responsibility, and stress, and perks, and disadvantages of my own class. I am looking forward to it. I think I am going to use planning the course as what I do when I need a study break this summer, but still want to be productive. (In August I am taking the qualifying exam in algebra; I can't remember if I mentioned that. It is one of two extremely difficult exams I must pass in order to actually qualify to receive a PhD. So it is very important, and very stressful. I'll be spending most of the summer living and breathing algebra. Yay!)

You know one of your students really does hate you when...

2011-04-14T09:29:00.000-05:00

... they get into a near-shouting match over THREE points on a homework assignment. (Each homework assignment has 100 points on it. The average of all of their homework assignments counts for 10% of the final grade in the course, and the lowest 4-5 out of the 12-13 they'll be turning in are dropped. So three points is COMPLETELY insignificant.) Oh, and the kicker? The answer was flat out wrong but damn, he still wanted those 3 points.

I guess I spoke too soon in that last entry where I said things were resolved.

Oh and yesterday there was this crazy incident with my algebra class I'm taking. Approx 45 min before turning in a homework assignment, I am reading over my proofs to make sure I don't have any typos. I realize in one of the problems, I don't use the hypothesis at all. So, I turn to my officemate to ask where in his proof he used that S was a ring extension of R. He outlines his argument, and I think about it for a second. I open up my notebook, start writing some definitions and set containments on the board to try to wrap my head around the hint he just gave me. As I'm writing, he says "Oh, that's not right. You have everything backwards." The definition given of integral closure in class was WRONG. So, my notes, from which I built all of my homework arguments, were WRONG. So, my argument for one of the 5 problems was WRONG. And completely unsalvageable, especially within 45 minutes.

I was LIVID. I was pacing, and swearing, and generally infuriated by everything in the universe at that moment in time. I opened the file I'd typed my homework assignment in and deleted the entirety of one problem's solution and began typing a paragraph about how I'd done the problem completely incorrectly because the class notes were wrong. I turned it in with the other work I'd done (which wasn't affected by this one definition). I'm still pretty angry about it now as I type this, approx 22 hours later. I had to skip class yesterday because of the whole incident. I know if I'd gone, I would have been extremely combative toward the professor and probably really rude, and instead of embarrassing myself in front of my classmates and being disrespectful toward a professor that I actually enjoy having for class, I decided to sit this one out. I felt guilty skipping class, because I hate missing class, especially in grad school. But there's no way it would have turned out to be anything but a disaster and an embarrassment.

(Aside: you see how if I think I might be a bitch to a person in a position of authority over me, I check myself and act like a normal, respectful human being instead? If only my problem student had this instinct as well.)

Anyway, this week is really stressful in general. And I have at least 2 if not 3 homework assignments due next week. But my birthday is next week and so I'd rather spend all of next week celebrating and partying instead of homework-ing. So I'm going to have to work really hard between now and then to get all of my work done before my birthday. Yay grad school!

Resolutions, and present & future plans.

2011-04-12T09:39:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to say it in.

Firstly, I have the issue with that student resolved now. I think. There's a good support system in place here for grad students that are teaching, so that we don't have to deal with bullshit from students. I set that wheel in motion last week and I think I'm good to go now. Both the graduate advisor and the lecturer for the course supported me through that stress and I feel a lot better about the situation and teaching in general now.

Speaking of feeling better about teaching, I had a good discussion with a colleague last week and found something that I'm passionate about in academia, related to my tirade posted here about math education a few weeks ago, and also related to this article. (I read it last year and recommended it to some people back then and reread it last night and still completely agree with the author. Also, don't let the title scare you away. The content actually has nothing to do with that title. I'm pretty sure he just used that title to draw in readers.) I would love to be in a position to overhaul the mathematics curriculum somewhere. I think it could only realistically happen on a small scale, like in one particular college or university. But I think it needs to happen nationwide. So, if I can find a place where I could have a hand in doing something like this, I think that's an opportunity I'd have to take. I don't want to switch fields and become a math-ed specialist rather than a pure mathematician, but it is still a cause that is close to my heart. So maybe someday...

In other news, plans are really coming together for my visit to PA next month. In the past week I've started sending e-mails and texts to friends that I want to meet up with while I'm around, but I haven't had time to contact everyone yet. (I have so many half-started messages that I really need to sit down and finish and send!) Hopefully I'll have time to see everyone, but fitting everyone from my former lives into 2 weeks will be difficult. Let me know if you'll be around and want to do something!

Oh, another exciting thing happened last week. For about a 24-30 hour period last week, I had only one thing on my school-related to-do list, and it wasn't due for another 2+ weeks. I didn't have any other assignments I could have been working on, or any grading to do or class notes to write up or other teaching duties. I had only ONE thing to do. (Of course, the next day, several things were added to the to-do list, but still... it was a great feeling!) Now, my non-school-related to-do list was really long and I've finally scratched a bunch of things off of that list. In fact, the past week or so has been the least stressful time in all of grad school so far. Now things are speeding up again, though. So time for a new wind of productivity to blow through my life!

With that said, I'm off to work on Algebra homework until Analysis class starts. Woo hoo.

Rawr.

2011-03-29T09:08:00.001-05:00

Okay really quick complaining session before I get back to working really hard to finish this analysis assignment before 2PM.

I'm already becoming disillusioned about working in academia. College students are whiny and feel they are entitled to whatever they want. Sure, college is a service they pay for, but they're not paying for an A, they're paying for an opportunity to learn.

Also, I'm glad I'm done with being a TA after this semester. Last semester my students complained because recitation was often focusing on sections covered 1-2 weeks ago in lecture and they were falling behind in the new material being taught. So, this semester I am busting my ass to keep up with the lecture. I am writing my own mini-lectures to reinforce material, coming up with my own examples, basically writing my own mini class that's done at the same pace as the real class, just so the students feel they are being reinforced in the lecture material in a timely manner (within 2 days of the first time the material is lectured over in class). And today my students complained that they feel rushed and don't have time to ask questions about old material.

Firstly, at the beginning of every class I offer a slice of time to ask questions about older material. If you don't speak up, how am I supposed to know you're struggling? Today a student claimed that I straight up ignored a question he asked about a previous section because we had to move on to new material and I honestly don't remember this happening. But even if this did happen, I can fall to my next topic:

I sit in my office for four hours a week with the sole purpose of helping students and only 1 student makes use of it (for only 30 min a week). If you feel the class is moving too fast and you want to slow down, come to office hours to ask about older material. If you feel the class is moving too slow and you want to make sure you understand the newer concepts, come to office hours to ask about the newer material. If you aren't available during my normal office hours, e-mail me for an appointment. I'm always here anyway.

And I don't think it will be any better when I have my own class (as opposed to TAing) - which will probably be next semester. Then the students will just complain that the grading is too harsh, the material is too hard, I'm moving too fast (or too slow?), etc.

I honestly can not imagine saying the things to a teacher that some of my students have said to me. Don't get me wrong, I really do want constructive feedback. I want to be able to improve my teaching; whether I end up in academia as a career or not, I still want to be the best I can be at it. But I have never bitched at a teacher for how they've run their classroom the way some of my own students have to me, either about me or about the lecturer for the class. Not inside my own major department (either in undergrad or in grad school), and not outside my major in classes I really didn't like. If I didn't have anything constructive to say, even if I felt like complaining, I saved it for venting sessions with my friends at the bar (or in my blog) not to the teacher's face. If it's not something they can change, why bother being "that guy"?

I'm just feeling discouraged with teaching right now. I know it will have its ups and downs, and right now it's a down. But, normally my 10AM class is much cheerier than my 8AM class, so hopefully in 45 min when I get to teach my other section they'll be less whiny, at least today. I need them to be my pick-me-up today since my 8AM class was such a downer.

I don't want to sound whiny and complainy myself, but I find writing therapeutic and I just need to get this out. Honestly, it's just one super bitchy student in my 8AM class that is souring the whole class for me. But college students in general are never happy and I don't know if I can take that kind of negativity for the rest of my life unless I just become much more bitchy with them myself. But usually you have to get some experience (life and teaching experience) under your belt before an institution will tolerate you being somewhat of a jerk to your students. Then again, there's negativity in industry jobs too. I worked for a large corporation and there's always drama and personality clashes.

Sigh. What a Tuesday morning.

Okay, I could keep chugging along with my stream of consciousness, but I really do have to get back to this homework. Adios, y'all. :P

EDIT: PS. This is not me proclaiming that I am definitely ruling out teaching as a career choice. I'm just having a bad day and this one incident is what I have to complain about.

Spring Break!

2011-03-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

Today is the last day of Spring Break 2011. During my four years of college-proper, I never did anything but work over spring break. I used those days to work 40-60+ hours at 1-2 jobs. This was my first ever spring break that was used primarily for travel and entertainment, and it was awesome.

On Saturday, we set out to drive from Denton, TX to Las Vegas, NV. We made it from Denton to Flagstaff, AZ in 14.5 hours in one day. New Mexico was by far the prettiest of the states that we drove through.

On the second day, we drove from Flagstaff to the Hoover Dam and stopped there for 1-2 hours and took lots of pictures. Then we finished the drive from Hoover Dam into Vegas.

When we went to check into our hotel room, we were offered an upgrade to a larger suite that had a view and a jacuzzi (two things the room we originally booked didn't have) so we took it. Definitely worth it. After hanging out and relaxing in the room for a bit, we went to downtown Vegas for a few hours. (It's the street they used in "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid!")

The next day, we walked the whole way down the Vegas strip on one side, stopping wherever it looked interesting. We went up to the top of the replica Eiffel Tower, and we went into M&M World, and all kinds of other fun places. That night we went out to dinner and went to the Beatles' Love Cirque Du Soleil show, which was really impressive.

Our last day in Vegas, we took a cab to the other end of the strip and walked down the other side that we missed the day before. We saw the Bodies exhibit in the Luxor, and other various sights to see in Vegas. The weather we had was perfect the entire time. It was upper 70s and lower 80s every day. Utterly beautiful.

Unlike my trip to Atlantic City a few summers ago, when I more than doubled my money, I lost every penny I gambled in Vegas. Yuck. I didn't even really win a little then lose it then win a little then lose it all. It was just like dropping all your money down a hole. I was coerced into playing slots, which I'd never done before, and I wasn't all that impressed. I'll stick to my favorite - roulette. Yes, I know it's the worst odds in the casino, but at least I feel like I have some control over how I'm betting. There's a little bit of strategy in guessing what you think will come up next. Unlike in slots where it's pretty much completely random and you have no control.

I only had two drinks the entire time I was in Vegas, so it wasn't a classic drink-and-gamble-all-night trip. Still, we had a blast and it was really cool to walk around to all the places I'd heard of but never been before.

We left Vegas Wednesday morning for the Grand Canyon. It was just as gorgeous as it's made out to be, although it was a bit chillier than Vegas. It was lower-to-mid 60s, so I was whining a bit about the cold. Still, I'm glad we went the week we did. If we'd gone just a few days later it would be SNOWING! So I guess I'll take 62 degrees over 30 degrees. :)

We took a TON of pictures, and most of them look completely fake. Even when you're looking with your eyes directly at the canyon, it doesn't really feel real. It was really impressive, although the flocks of people around were kind of annoying. But oh well, when you visit touristy places, unfortunately there will be tourists there.

While we were driving, we kept track of what states' license plates we saw, and it was really an impressive/successful venture. We saw 46 of 50 US states (didn't see RI, DE, WV, or LA... or DC for that matter), and we actually saw 5 of 10 Canadian provinces, plus one Mexican state. And we played the alphabet game where you look for signs with words starting with each letter of the alphabet in order. From TX to Vegas we got to Q and then we were stuck for a while. But on the way from Vegas to the Grand Canyon we got up to X. Then between Albuquerque and TX we got X, Y, and Z. We rock at driving games!

Also, the time was totally messed up the entire time. We left from the Central Time Zone on Saturday, crossed into Mountain Time Zone in NM and AZ on Saturday. Saturday night Daylight Saving Time began, but Arizona doesn't observe it, so everyone else in the country moved ahead an hour, but we stayed in normal Mountain Time (which, coincidentally is the same as Pacific Time during Daylight Saving). Then on Sunday we crossed into real Pacific Time in Nevada. On the way back on Wednesday we crossed back into AZ (which was no time difference because Nevada was on Pacific Daylight Saving Time and AZ is in Mountain Time but didn't "spring ahead"), then on Thursday we crossed into Mountain (Daylight Saving) Time in NM, then back to Central time on Friday in TX. This whole mess resulted in me never knowing what time it was, which honestly isn't that much different than usual. Even my phone was wrong half the time (it didn't seem to recognize that AZ doesn't use Daylight Saving). And just now as I was typing this, I realized that it's actually 6PM here and my watch said 4PM. It's okay; I fixed it.

Hmmm. Okay, I think I'm done recounting all the little details now. I really have to get some math done. I got nothing done while in Vegas or at the Grand Canyon (surprise, surprise!) so now I have some catching up to do before going back to class tomorrow!

Reflection on mathematics education

2011-03-13T15:21:00.001-05:00

First of all, most of you who know me know that I have been pretty opposed to teaching as a profession for myself for quite a long time for quite a lot of reasons. I absolutely would never teach at the grade school level (I HATE being around children, plus I feel like I'd be wasting my brain and my talent in mathematics relegating myself to multiplication tables) or at the high school level (they're still children, but now they're children who are smartasses who think they know everything and they still don't do that much mathematics). Now that I'm getting experience teaching at the college level, I'm learning that although I like it much more than I expected, a lot of the students still act like spoiled brats, and they don't realize what mathematics is, what it's used for, why it's important, etc. They often just find it to be a nuisance.

However, when I think about it, I want to figure out the cause. The cause is the math education they receive from the beginning. There is a terrible culture in America in general that "math is hard," "some people just can't do math, and there's nothing wrong with that, so I can just give up on it," etc. I mean, seriously, when I told people I wanted to get a PhD in math (or now, when I tell them that IS what I am doing), so many look at me with a disgusted look that mostly comes from the thought "why would anyone ever DO that to themselves? Math is the worst thing ever." And this is fed from the beginning by elementary education, and especially fostered in high school.

What high schools (and below, but especially high schools) really need are passionate, talented math teachers, much like my colleagues and me, to give students the right attitude about mathematics from the beginning. Not that everyone teaching grade school or high school math needs a graduate degree, but they should have the same positive attitude and passion that I see in math grad students and PhDs. There needs to be a culture change, in the attitudes of the general public toward mathematics as well as in the general public's idea of what mathematics is. This isn't going to come out of the sky; it needs to be taught.

The problem is that most people that actually have this talent and passion for mathematics DO go to grad school or into industry jobs, and don't go into the "lower" levels of education. So those positions are left to bachelor's-degree-holding teachers (often those degrees are not even in mathematics, but in education or English or history), some of which don't even like mathematics themselves so they are propagating that attitude in America's youth.

Now, I want to be clear. I do not think that this is true of all grade school and high school math teachers. Nor do I think there's anything wrong with bachelor's degrees in general or with teaching with a bachelor's degree. (In fact, my comments on college education are aplenty, and have no place in this entry about math education. Perhaps another day...). In fact, from 1st-12th grade, I had six math teachers, and two of them were stellar, three were great, and the other was okay. I had great mathematics preparation for college. But I also went to private school and the largest class I'd ever been in had like 21 students in it. But there were plenty of people that had the exact same math teachers that I did that still got the anti-math attitude elsewhere that even good math education could not undo. I saw it with my own eyes.

Anyway, trying to get back to my point, I see in general a negative attitude toward mathematics and I blame it on generations and generations of propaganda. I want to fix this, but the most logical place to me to try this is in the education system by hiring good, talented, happy, passionate math teachers in the elementary schools on up the whole chain. But how can we staff all our schools in such a way? I welcome any ideas. I see several major problems in this endeavor: (1) the people that really feel this passionately about math that are already in existence tend toward other jobs (grad school, industry, teaching at the college level), (2) because of the cultural issue we're facing, the people with positive attitudes about math are in the minority so there aren't enough of them to staff every school in the country, even if we pulled them out of other math jobs to teach in our schools, (3) school administrators often have this negative attitude toward math themselves, so they don't see a need for REAL math education, just the bare minimum to get by - hire a football coach that can "teach" basic algebra skills that cannot possibly impart any real mathematical wisdom on students, then the students will at least scrape by at a barely passing rate on standardized testing and the school will keep its funding. Those are just a few issues, but there are many more.

As just one person, just one voice, I don't feel I can make much of an impact even though it's something I really care about. Plus, you're not going to catch me teaching below college level. So even if I chose an academic job to try and counteract the effects, the students get to me so late that they're completely turned off to math and it's nearly impossible for me to reverse their attitudes or show them real math. They just want their 70% passing grade so they can get through all their math prereqs as quickly and painlessly (with as little actual work and effort) as possible.

I don't know if I'm being clear about my point. I don't even know if I know what my point is. It's just a topic I've thought about a lot lately, and a topic I've had lots of discussions about, and something I care deeply about, and something that frustrates me to no end. I get infuriated every time I hear a student whine about losing points for not showing work ("I got the right answer! Why does it matter how I got it? Yes, I did just guess..."), or complain about having an exam with open-ended questions instead of multiple choice questions ("I've never had to do an open-ended exam. This is so much harder! I don't even have a chance of guessing right!"), or how they can't use a calculator on a quiz or exam ("But how am I supposed to know how to do that without my calculator? I can just push keys and not think at all!"), or any other numerous common complaints that really stem from college-level professors expecting students to do actual mathematics (involving logical statements leading from given information to a solution to a problem, and the thought process behind it) rather than computation (which I find is too often the precedent set in early math education). How can we make students better prepared for this transition from stupidity to higher education? I don't even think it's entirely the high school math teachers' fault, even though that's really the only concern/cause I addressed above. I don't know. What do you guys think?

PS. I forgot 2 major points I wanted to make.

(1) I don't think math is the only subject facing a problem like this in the education system. One of my mother's friends is a middle/high school art teacher, and I've heard plenty of stories from her about students resisting required art classes because they don't think they're artistic or they don't see the point. You'll also hear plenty of jokes about the "uselessness" of English or art or history or theater degrees. Plus, students in general often have a whiny "why do I need to know this for real life?" attitude that is difficult for teachers of all disciplines to combat. I just think math has a very difficult time because it gets a bad reputation AND people outside of mathematicians don't really seem to even know what math really is.

(2) I don't want to make it seem like I think that getting better math teachers earlier will make everyone in America a math genius. Everyone has different skill sets, and each individual has a unique aptitude for mathematics. However, I still think whether you genuinely are terrible at math or you're a math genius, you should understand what mathematics really is and why it is useful, and have somewhat of an appreciation for it rather than a disgust for what you think it is.

Okay that's it.

Sent from my Blackberry

Wash, rinse, repeat. Oh, and... Vegas!

2011-03-07T14:46:00.000-06:00

Grad school is a series of emotions as much as it is an educational experience. First one feels tremendous frustration as one tries to complete work (problem sets, time-juggling experiments, etc) that one feels are well beyond one's capabilities, while all the surrounding people give off the expectations and assumption that one should EASILY be able to accomplish it, when in truth it's not easy at all. Then, one completes the task at hand and feels an exceptional amount of pride and satisfaction and relief. Then, almost immediately, another nearly insurmountable task presents itself. Repeat... for 5-6 years.

Also, everything I now write or type, I have to stop myself from writing it in LaTeX code. E-mails, blog entries, post-its to myself. Yeah... everything should be in TeX. (For those not in the know, TeX is a baby-programming language designed to type math and display it like it should look, as opposed to hand-writing it or using some sort of inferior way to type math.)

My latest emotional roller coaster involves completing a difficult analysis assignment that I didn't want to do on Friday. Then immediately after turning in that assignment and releasing my sigh of relief, I opened my inbox and found a REALLY difficult algebra assignment that I barely have time to do... and it's due Monday. And today I turned in this algebra assignment... only to start studying for a topology exam I have this Thursday. Blah blah neverending cycle blah blah.

It's okay. Next week is spring break. Too bad I have assignments in all 3 classes due the week we get back, as well as an algebra exam that week.

On the plus side, I will be making my first trip ever to Las Vegas during spring break! I'll be spending 3 days there and 1.5 days at the Grand Canyon. It will be lots of fun, but little relaxation. When we aren't out being super touristy, we'll be inside working on those assignments that are due at the end of spring break. In spite of the stress and sadness that comes from working while on vacation, I intend to have a great time. We've got a lot of fun events planned, and I've been wanting to go for a while. I've been wanting to go on a fun trip ANYWHERE for a while. It will be my first going-away-vacation-trip-extravaganza in a long time. I had two brief trips last summer, and other than that, I've only been on one other major trip since junior high, and that one turned out horribly. I have high hopes for this one, and I doubt it will disappoint. Great location, great plans, great company. How could it go wrong? :) All things considered, I'm majorly excited!

Productive Procrastination

2011-02-16T14:52:00.000-06:00

This semester I've made an interesting discovery. My old undergraduate habits, while improved, have not yet been broken. I don't know if they ever will be.

I, like most students, am a classic procrastinator. Also like most students, I start every semester with the mantra "This time it will be different!" in my mind. I have sweet dreams of starting assignments a week ahead of time, at the time they are assigned instead of the night before they are due. I have delusions that I will actually read every word in the text books, and study from the books and from my notes EVEN WHEN THERE ISN'T A TEST IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE, just to be sure that the material will stick more easily in my mind.

Of course, these good habits are rare, even in the student with a fabulous work ethic.

However, in grad school, I have become something that is still bad, but such a great improvement over my previous methods that I am proud. I am a "productive procrastinator." Let's say, for example, that there are k items on my to-do list this week. Usually one (maybe two) of these tasks is particularly looming and intimidating and I really really don't want to do it. So, I put off that one thing by doing the other k-1 things on the list. It's perfect! I feel like I've gotten so much done! But I still get the comfort of the familiar. There is still the rushed panic that comes in at the last second when I actually HAVE to get that last thing done that I don't want to do and there's nothing else left on my list to take care of first.

In the past week I've completed and turned in an algebra assignment, completed a topology assignment, graded exams for my pre-calc students, proofread then re-typed and formatted and printed copies of the quiz I have to give them tomorrow, made a key and grading rubric for the homework they're turning in this week, proofread a friend's exam that they have to give to their students, shaved my legs (not school related or really anyone else's business, but if you're a girl, you may agree with me that it is an annoying task so I feel like I really accomplished something there), cleaned my apartment (including cleaning out the fridge), did my taxes, re-copied some portions of notes for the classes I'm taking that were lost or on random sheets of paper that needed to be transcribed into my actual notebooks where they belong, and went to two events for a guest speaker in the department. AND I've managed to fit in some social time with friends. AND I'm writing this blog entry, which I've been meaning to do for a LONG time. Plus I'm sure there are other things I've accomplished that I'm forgetting right now.

Unfortunately, I have an analysis exam tomorrow afternoon that I've barely studied for so far.

Old habits die hard, but at least I got that whole list of productive things done instead of watching TV or movies or playing games or something. I am now 3 episodes behind on Parenthood and 2 episodes behind on Grey's Anatomy. (The only reason I'm not behind on my Thursday night comedies is I have a standing appointment with friends to watch that together.) I could have used my TV shows to procrastinate but I didn't. If I had, I'd be even more behind! I'm growing up or something I think...

Anyway, that's it for now. I'm going to finally stop procrastinating (productively or otherwise) and study for that exam.

Anecdote/Analogy

2011-01-24T09:35:00.000-06:00

So, last week I sent this story in an e-mail to a few former professors from my undergrad days at Ursinus (so if you received that e-mail you needn't read any farther because you already know the ending...). But I am so attached to this story I figured I'd share it with all my blog readers too. My comments from the present that weren't in the original e-mail are in square brackets []. The stuff in normal parentheses WERE in the original e-mail.

Today [last Thursday] in my Intro to Topology class, the professor [who kind of reminds me of a slightly older, equally awesome, somewhat cranky version of Dr. Goebeler, for those readers who get that reference] made an offhand comment when talking about appropriate proof-writing techniques. He was talking about what was correct, what was incorrect, and the harshness with which our deviation from the "right" way would be punished in homework grades. He frequently appeals to the analogy of good math is like good code (which of course is a sure way to appeal to the poor computer scientist in me that is being overshadowed by the mathematician in me these days). My favorite part of this analogy (so far) was tacked on today. He mentioned offhand that he would be grading our homework proofs like a compiler, finding all the errors. He said that he would be like a "bad" compiler, unable to interpret anything and a single syntax error would stop him dead in his tracks and drive him crazy. However, I chimed in that he's actually a great compiler - he finds the errors, highlights where they are, and suggests ways in which the error can be fixed and/or avoided. (Oh, if only all compilers did this for us!)

Anyway, my brain is now hard at work dissecting my new favorite simile: "A good teacher is like a good compiler."

So, that's my insightful (?) thought to share for the day. Like I said, I'm not sure if this is a standard or well-known analogy, but I'd never heard it as an undergrad and I rather like it. It's too bad it's lost on so many of the mathematicians...

Sorry if you (A) don't get it or (B) don't find it as profound as I do. But it struck me for some reason. At least this math department is somewhat still sparking my CS interests. A speaker here last semester came in talking about some computability problem that reminded me of a mash of my Algorithms and Theory of Computation classes I took in CS at Ursinus and made me really miss them (the classes, professors, and fellow CS students). And now my topology professor's tendency to reference good coding practices brings back so many memories as well. AND I'm marginally dismayed that I didn't take the logic class that was offered last semester. I read a few of the assignments that were given in that class and it was like a hardcore version of Theory of Computation. I probably would have loved it. Oh well. Maybe I'll do an individualized reading course somewhat like that in the future. I have so many things I want to study more (algebra, combinatorics, logic, etc). I don't have enough time for extra math reading/studying so I'll need to fit them into my degree plan somehow. And I need to find myself a mini coding project of some kind so my skills don't get completely rusty.

Okay, enough whining about that. But my desire to study and research in so many areas does make me wonder if I'll end up in academia, after 15 (or more?) years of saying I'll NEVER teach as a profession. I guess we'll see... In my defense, college/university level teaching is a completely different profession in my opinion from elementary education or secondary education. But I could see myself chugging away at pure math research problems while teaching college classes on the side.

In other news, Steelers are going to the Super Bowl!!!!!! There will surely be more about that in my next post, to come very soon...

And a happy new year!

2011-01-05T15:56:00.000-06:00

I'm not a wildly sentimental person, but my favorite holidays and celebrations are my favorites for some pretty flowery reasons. I love New Year's (Eve/Day) for the feeling of celebrating the end of something (and reflecting on its meaning for the future) and also for celebrating the beginning of something new. (To quote Semisonic: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Yeah, I appealed to 90's pop music. Deal with it.) I don't like using the phrase "a fresh start" or similar things for New Year's, because I don't believe there is a fresh start at the beginning of a new year. The slate is not wiped clean. However, it IS a line of demarcation. Or one can view it as such. That was last year; this is the next year. It's not a new book (a completely fresh start) but it can be considered a new chapter. I don't know; I think I'm ranting aimlessly at this point. I just find myself trying to justify my love of New Year's more this year than in the past because I've had discussions with a New-Year's-hater recently and feel I need to have some reasoning for how I view the holiday.

Maybe I just have too much time to think on semester breaks. I'm not myself. Today do you want to know what I'm doing? I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. And did laundry. And now I'm going to BAKE and then cook dinner. What a weird existence. I mean, not a weird existence in general. I know there are people who do this every day. But for me, it is strange. I am not the housewifey type. I'm used to running around like a crazy person having too many things on my to-do list that I won't be able to finish on time. I'm definitely going to have to get a job in the summer, partly to financially support myself, and partly so I don't go crazy with boredom. Summer break is 3-4 times this break in length, and I'll probably spend about the same amount of time travelling. No, not proportionally. I mean I'll probably be away for 2 weeks, then have to entertain myself alone in my apartment for 3 months instead of 2 weeks.

I will be glad to be back to work in less than 2 weeks. But grad school is hard and I'll be longing for spring break long before it will actually come to me...

One of those good days

2010-12-06T10:52:00.000-06:00

So I am feeling REALLY good today. In spite of infuriating missed penalty calls in the Steelers game last night, they still won against a strong division rival to take first place in the division, so that's awesome. Plus, I got an algebra assignment back this morning in which I only got 3 points taken off AND I got a bonus point on one of the problems because my solution was so pretty. And I got notes all over the assignment that said "Good!" or "Nice!" which is a real confidence booster considering my grades in that class have been quite shaky. I am just really happy about it. And with how terrible my grades have been in analysis, it's nice to know that I'm showing I deserve to be in this program in at least one of my classes. (Okay, my grades have been TOLERABLE in analysis, but nowhere near how high I would LIKE them to be.) But I started that algebra assignment on time and I typed it up and put a lot of effort into it, so I'm glad that my grade reflects that.

The next week and a half is going to be so busy and so stressful but I am in such a good mood today I don't care. I have problem sets due next week in both Algebra AND Analysis, plus final exams next week in each of those classes (on Monday and Tuesday, no less - I don't even have the whole week next week to study!). And I have to write up a teaching philosophy document for my teaching class. How do I feel about teaching and learning, and how would my beliefs about teaching affect my approach to teaching a large lecture class vs teaching a small class of self-motivated students? It's a lot to do, but I don't intend to waste any time. I was lazy the past few days, so I am relaxed and refreshed and my brain is ready to take on the challenges that lay ahead.

I did clean my apartment this weekend, though, in spite of my laziness. And I cleaned my office this morning when I got in. And a clean working space goes a long way toward helping me with my productivity so I think it's going to be a great week. And this good mood is helping me feel more excited about spending two weeks at home (instead of stressed about it), which is good. And this is the fourth sentence in a row that I've started with "and," which is a sign of bad writing. Oh well.

Hmmm. What else, what else? Not a whole lot more to report. This semester is coming to a close and break is so close I can almost taste it. I'm having a good time and I am enjoying living in Texas and I am enjoying the grad school experience. As high stress as it is, it is also very rewarding at times. It'll be even more rewarding once I pass qualifying exams, and then EVEN MORE rewarding when I graduate. But for now I'll take the good days when they come and I'll take the bad days too.

Calm after the storm

2010-11-09T11:15:00.000-06:00

*Sigh.* That is NOT a sigh of annoyance, but a sigh of relief.

This is the first week of grad school that I haven't felt immensely stressed to do 900 things at once. Last week I had a major presentation on Monday, a major assignment due on Wednesday, and an exam on Thursday. And I gave my students an exam on Thursday. The result was an extremely busy, intensely stressful week. Another unintended consequence was that that left nothing to do this weekend. There were no outstanding assignments for me to complete or grade. There was no pressing need to study. There was actually NOTHING pressing at all. So I spent Thursday night out having fun, slept in on Friday, went out Friday night, then basically didn't do much of anything except for lay around and watch TV on Saturday and Sunday. It was so weird, but it was like having a magical 3 day vacation that I didn't expect. So that helped to refresh my mind quite a bit. Then today I got the exam that I took on Thursday back and I did much better than the first exam. And I spoke with the professor and he assured me that I am doing just fine in the course. Which alleviates so much worry I've had lately about my performance. I didn't believe my grades were in any trouble in any of my classes, but it is SO nice to have that confirmed. Not that I can slack off at all. Now this week it's back to grading and homework and studying and whatnot. But I know that the level of effort that I'm continuing to put in is working. And I will try to step it up and improve as time goes on, but I know that in at least four of the five major things going on in my life right now I am at least marginally succeeding. And that makes me happy.

Oh, and the Steelers won last night! :)

A day in the life: exam prep, whiny students, faraway friends, quality Angela time

2010-11-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

So, analysis exam #2 is in 2 days. (Yes, instead of studying right now, I am blogging. I'm a terrible grad student.) It's my last exam in any of my classes before finals. Yikes!

I feel pretty good about my first semester as a graduate student so far, but I'm trying not to get too comfortable, because comfortability is a recipe for disaster. I need to keep my level of engagement and hard work at least as high as it is now, if not higher. Luckily (unluckily?) there is always something outstanding: some assignment that needs to be done or some exam that needs to be studied for or some concept that I need to get through my thick skull or some teaching prep that needs done. It is impossible to be "caught up" in grad school. So there's no room for slacking off.

My students were extra annoying today. Several of them left class early. Got up and walked out while I was teaching. Very disrespectful. Some showed up late. Many didn't show up at all. Of those that showed up, some were sleeping, and others were just not paying attention. And I gave back a quiz today and two students were particularly whiny about partial credit they received. I am very careful to be fair and consistent in my grading and some students just don't appreciate it. I guess it's that point in the semester where people who have borderline grades are scrounging up all the points they can get and everyone (teachers and students alike) is just dragging and ready for it to be over. We don't even get a fall break here and Thanksgiving break is only Thursday and Friday. There are 5 weeks of classes left, plus finals. It's stressful for all of us, but don't give up now. C'mon, you're only undergrads, and it's only pre-calculus. How do you think I feel?! Oh well. That's just me venting/complaining about some of the downsides of teaching. Overall, I'm enjoying it. And I only focus my energies on the students who show up and engage in the class anyway. I'm not overextending myself trying to help everyone, but I'm also not rude to those who don't want help. If you show up to class, I'll teach you, and I have an open door during my office hours and if you walk in, I'll teach you. That's all you can really do.

In other news, I've felt a little homesick the past few days. Not actual homesickness, like I wish I were still in PA, but homesickness in the sense that I miss a lot of people that are very far away. I can think of at least 5 close friends that I REALLY need to sit down and have a phone or Skype conversation with that I told myself I HAD to do this week, but I probably won't have time. I also feel guilty because I haven't talked to any of my siblings in like a month. And I miss them a lot too. So I'm trying to get in contact with them soon as well. On the other hand, I do feel a bit accomplished, as I did send a few e-mails this week that I had intended to send right after I graduated college (almost 6 months ago now!) to people I haven't talked to in years. And having those types of e-mails sent means I can look forward to the replies. Getting communication (facebook, e-mail, call, text, blog comment, etc.) from someone I haven't talked to or seen in a while is always an awesome feeling. I'm terrible at long distance friendships/relationships/etc. And I'm REALLY trying to be better since I've moved to Texas, but I also have to balance feeling stressed/bad about not meeting my communication goals and just letting things slide from one week to the next to the point that I've gone months without talking to any of my friends. I'm trying to not feel super stressed about less contact, without falling off the face of the earth entirely. It's a delicate balance, let me tell you.

Not that I regret coming here at all. I LOVE it in Texas. The weather is awesome (this week temps are in the 60s, next week it will be back in the 70s; in my hometown the weather for the next week or two is in the 40s and 50s). The people in the area in general are great, and everyone I know in the math department here is awesome. This place, geographically speaking, is certainly agreeing with me. And as much as I may complain about grad school and/or teaching and/or missing people back home sometimes, this is what I want to be doing with my life. I want to earn my PhD. I want to be a professional mathematician. I want to succeed at grad school. And anyone who knows me knows that I do what I want. :)

I am excited for the next two nights, though. I have no social plans, so I will have me-time. I will rock out to music in my apartment and do lots of math (algebra assignment due tomorrow, and, as I said before, analysis exam the day after that). If I have time, I'll try to make some phone calls to some friends back home, but if not, I'll just wait until next week to start making the calls. Next week's not an exam week so I should have enough time. But the next two nights are mine. So before I buckle down and do a lot of work in the next 48 hours, I am taking this time to just breathe and clear my mind by writing this blog entry. As some of you may know, I find writing very therapeutic. I already feel more calm and confident that I can make it through another week!

By the way, the Steelers are kicking ass in the NFL this season, in case you haven't been paying attention. I smell a playoff run, and quite probably a run for a seventh Lombardi trophy! Right now they're 5-2. The defense looks great, the offense looks pretty good. The two losses were pretty close and, in my opinion, they outplayed the opponent and should have won both games except for a FEW key mistakes or moments that didn't go their way. (Although, I guess that's how their wins are sometimes too - a key thing that just so happened to go their way.) That's the nature of football. They haven't been straight-up outplayed by anyone yet, and I don't see any teams in the NFL that COULD just brute-force outplay the Steelers this season. So it will be fun to see how the next few months play out. I'm excited! I LOVE football season!

Socializing and learning and stuff

2010-10-13T18:57:00.000-05:00

So, as you probably already know, last Sunday the date was 10-10-10. Math grad students don't really need any more reason than that to have a party, let me tell you. (Actually, the idea is stolen from The Office. There's an episode in season 1 when a 05-05-05 party is referenced.) It was an all-out themed party (theme was the number ten). Costumes, decorations, foods, the whole thing. It was a lot of fun, and it was nice to hang out with my fellow nerds outside of school for a generally relaxed night. FYI - my "costume" was wearing my Santonio Holmes Steelers jersey - he was #10. (Now he's a NY Jet...)

As far as school stuff goes, BLAH. I'm in the thick of the semester now, almost halfway through. My first analysis exam did not go as well as I would have liked, my first graded assignments in analysis and algebra each were less than perfect (which is therefore less than acceptable), and I have a midterm in algebra on Monday that I used to be really excited for until I started getting graded homework back and my professor's guidance to the class for what to study was "oh, just study all your handouts and all the homework problems and your notes." Yeah, that's EVERYTHING we've done so far this semester. Thanks for narrowing that down... Luckily I have a strong background in abstract algebra from my undergrad days or else I'd be screwed. But I fear even that will not help me since my homeworks aren't as solid as I want them to be. I guess this is my wake up call to buckle down and live and breathe math for a while without allowing myself too many distractions.

As an adjustment, I'm being more engaged during class. Now I just have to translate all that to more effort when I'm at home: of course I'd rather just curl up in a chair or in bed and watch TV on DVD or Netflix, but no - I should do math instead.

On a lighter note, I did get paid (finally) and all my bills are paid (goody! no getting evicted or getting utilities shut off or anything!). So I think I'm going to be just fine financially now that the paydays have started back up. I ended up splurging a bit on some presents TO me FROM me from NFL.com. Got myself a super awesome, super sexy ladies-fitted throwback Mean Joe Greene Steelers jersey. And then I got a new Steelers t-shirt too. Actually, NFL Shop disappointed me this time around. Usually I visit there and I see hundreds of dollars worth of stuff I want and I have to narrow it down considerably to what I can afford. But this time, I knew I wanted the jersey, but I really only found 2 or 3 shirts I wanted and those were either too expensive or designed for really cold weather or really warm weather (neither of which we're experiencing right now). Anyway, I can't wait to wear the new jersey for Ben's return following his rape-related suspension on Sunday. With our starting QB back, the Steelers will be even better! :)

The apartment is still awesome. I am loving living alone. Maybe after a few years or decades it would get lonely, but for now I'm really liking it. I don't know how to explain it. I feel very accomplished. I can kind of understand now why people have referred to owning your own house as "the American dream." I feel proud of my apartment, like it is a space that is my own. It's something I shape, but also something that reflects who I am. It's an interesting phenomenon that I'm experiencing for the first time.

Hmmm. What else is going on? Not a whole lot. I'm going to be buying plane tickets soon (probably today) for my trip home to Pennsylvania over Christmas break. I'll be spending approx 40% of break in PA and 60% in TX. (That's 2 weeks and 3 weeks, respectively.) This will be my longest continuous stay in SW PA since freshman year of college. And I'll be without my own car. This could go really well, or horribly, horribly wrong. Spending time with my siblings definitely makes it all worth it though. And I'll have time to actually see friends as well (which I didn't really have time to do when I was there for 25 hours two weeks ago). So yay for friends!

Oh, and after all my whining above about my algebra assignments, my prof just walked into my office as I was typing this to give me more assignments back and the rest weren't so bad. Just have some studying to do, but I'm not feeling nearly as dramatic as I was before. Fabulous!

Feedback/Encouragement

2010-10-05T16:12:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I've been teaching pre-calculus recitations this semester. In my department, for the first semester there is a class taken by all new grad students that are teaching in which we basically learn about teaching and share stories and get advice and whatnot. We have little teaching exercises intended to help us think about issues we may encounter before we actually experience them in the classroom so we're better prepared to handle it. So far we've had to prepare fake lesson plans, grade fake quizzes, present problems at the board in front of our peers, etc. Also, the professor teaching it, the graduate adviser for the department, does surprise visits to the classes we ARE teaching and gives feedback.

So THAT'S the point I was trying to get to. My "supervisor" (the graduate adviser) came and visited my 9AM class last Thursday. I know a lot of people in my incoming grad class are intimidated by him and will have trouble when he visits because they will be super nervous. (He's a really awesome guy and is a fountain of knowledge and I really like him, but he is cranky-looking and is quite sarcastic, so he's on the same page as I am, but that's not true of all of the grad students.) But anyway, as for me, I did not really get any elevated nervousness when he visited my class. Honestly, I didn't have time for it. The particular day he visited, I had to go over the students' first exam (work out 14 problems start to finish and answer questions about them) and then give the students a 10 minute quiz. For my 9AM class, I have to RUN there from across campus after my 8-8:50AM class. I always arrive to my 9AM class flustered, out of breath, and sometimes 1-2 minutes late. (I thought this would make a bad impression, but when we discussed his visit after the fact, he said he understood I had back to back classes across campus and it's not a big deal.)

From there, I hit the ground running. I wrote the day's agenda on the board: (1) hand back exams and homeworks, (2) go over exams, (3) take quiz. I multitasked and spoke in generalities about the exam grades as I handed them back. Honestly, I didn't even notice Dr. B sitting in the back of the classroom until I'd already been in the classroom 5-10 minutes that's how focused I was on the tasks at hand. Once the exams were handed back, I flew through the problems. This means I hauled ass to work through them, but I was thorough and clear in my explanations and paused frequently to make sure all the students were understanding the words coming out of my mouth and asking if they had any questions. I finished RIGHT on schedule, giving the illusion that I have perfect classroom time management, and gave the students their quizzes and gave them 10 minutes to complete it and then class was over. It was quite a rush, and I felt really awesome about how I did that day. I really didn't feel any more nervous during the class than normal, even though I was being watched like a hawk. The only second I allowed myself to be nervous was after I'd handed out the quizzes, when Dr. B walked up to me. But the fear that I had completely embarrassed myself (and possibly lost my job!) disintegrated when he whispered "Stop by my office later to discuss in more detail, but I just wanted to tell you you did a great job. What you were asked to do was nearly impossible, to cover all of those problems and still have time for a quiz. So you should feel very proud of that." :)

I won't go through all of the stuff he said in our post-game interview, but I will say it was all positive and words like "impressive" and "remarkable" were used, which was a huge ego boost. Plus, it reinforced the positive feeling I have about my teaching. He said he could tell that the students both respected me and understood me, and that they were comfortable asking questions. He also said my explanations of problems and concepts were nearly spot on (he caught me on a few mathematical technicalities, but none that affected the students' education, just things he wanted to clarify for my own education). I already felt that I was explaining things clearly to the students and that they were respectful and that I generally foster a good classroom environment, but it's nice to hear it from someone who's been in the business for a long time and has enough experience and is brutally honest enough to tell me if I am terrible at it.

In addition, yesterday in this class that I'm taking for new grad students, we had to present problems to the class as if we were teaching them and then get everyone's comments and critiques of our teaching techniques (including voice projection and enunciation, chalkboard organization, and actual teaching/explaining/etc). I went up and presented and awaited my peers' relentless criticisms. Not that I thought they'd be mean, but I did want some feedback if there was something I needed to improve upon. When I finished my problem and Dr. B asked everyone to comment, someone just said "Wow. That was really good." And a couple people echoed "Yeah." And then no one else said anything... Now, I am glad to feel like I'm doing a great job (and, really, it validates the opinions that people have been giving me for years that I would make an amazing teacher - even though I hate kids), but there's got to be SOMETHING I am doing wrong. I've only been teaching for a few weeks, and I know I'm not perfect at anything, including this. Finally, someone piped up with "In a few places, your lines of work are too close together on the board." Okay, now that's something I can work with.

So anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, apparently teaching is going REALLY well. Which is a relief. If I were struggling with teaching, that would make grad school 100 times harder. But as long as I keep chugging along at this level with teaching and step up my studying for my own classes that I'm taking, I think I'll do fine.

My First Airplane Ride

2010-10-05T11:36:00.001-05:00

This past weekend I travelled by air for the first time ever! In line with a plan I've had for months (and that I feel safe calling a "tradition" since it's now happened more than once and even moving to Texas did not stop me), I went to a Steelers home game last weekend. So, I boarded my first airplane EVER, at the age of 22, and flew from DFW to CLT to PIT (and back). I'm doing a lot of stuff for the first time ever at the age of 22, actually. It's a damn good year.

Anyway, my first flight was at noon on Saturday and it was clear and beautiful. Not even so much as a bump. And I got through airport security quickly and easily. Nowhere near the nightmare I anticipated. I guess not having travelled before 9/11/01, I don't have anything to compare it to, so flying doesn't seem as annoying to me as to people who flew both before and after all the new regulations and whatnot. I had an hour layover in Charlotte, which was tolerable, and then flew into Pittsburgh. Now, I am not irrationally partial to Pittsburgh in everything, but I am rationally partial to Pittsburgh. Of the 3 airports I travelled through, PIT was my favorite. Besides seeing black & gold everywhere, it also had the nicest seating areas, the best dining/shopping arrangement, the easiest-to-find bathrooms, etc. CLT was nice, and to be honest I only saw a small fraction of DFW so maybe it's not fair to compare that one. (Did you know DFW airport is larger than the island of Manhattan? Insane!)

So, once I landed in Pittsburgh, I had to navigate my way to where Dan was picking me up (thank you, random lady in the airport who eavesdropped on my phone conversation and told me how to get from where I was to where he was). Then he and I had a good chunk of time to catch up while we drove to my family's house. I tried to spend a good bit of time once home entertaining my siblings, but they're always so hard to be around for short visits; it's much easier to spend time with them over a longer 1-2 week visit. It's not that they're intolerable or annoying or rude or anything, but the short visits go like this:

--children screaming, running up to me and tackling me, yelling "AAAAAANGELAAAAA!"

--hugging, etc

--small talk: "How's school?" "How are your friends?" "What's going on?" with short answers from them

--boredom and staring: "So, what do you guys want to do while I'm home?" "I don't know." "Oh, okay."

--sit around, watch tv, play board/card games

--I do whatever I came into town to do (in this case, go to the Steelers game)

--I leave

Not super interesting or exciting itinerary. When I have more than a day or two, it's a lot easier to engage my siblings in plans, but with schedules as tight as the one I had this weekend, I hope it was enough just to get some face time in.

So, the visit home went well. Then Sunday morning Dan & I drove back into Pittsburgh for the game. Traffic was surprisingly easy to navigate. The game itself was a lot of fun and the Steelers played quite well (except Jeff Reed's two missed field goals) until the very end when the defense inexplicably gave up a touchdown and Charlie Batch threw an interception. AHHHH the frustration! But still all in all a very fun experience. Although I still have yet to find any liquor in Heinz Field. I'm convinced the only alcohol they have is beer, which doesn't work out for me. :(

The most entertaining part of the game was probably the people who sat behind us. There was this old lady who kept telling me to sit down, and that you should only stand up on "important plays." The guy beside her told her every play was important. She also kept bitching about how she was too crowded and people needed to scootch away from her and give her room. Her kids paid good money for those seats for her!!! (As if we all didn't pay money for our seats. Bitch.) She was all around unreasonable and unpleasant, but the guys behind us (sitting next to her) were hilarious in making fun of her ridiculous demands. They proceeded to tell me when it was or was not an important play and when I was and was not allowed to stand (jokingly, mocking the lady). And the one guy's wife/girlfriend is apparently pregnant, and he's a Buffalo Bills fan, but he said he is seriously considering raising the kid to be a Steelers fan so he doesn't have to experience the pain and suffering he experiences as a Bills fan. Hilarious! I hope he does so. :)

However, all good things come to an end, and so did the game. Lost 17-14 to the Ravens. (Steelers were up 14-10 until the last 30-something seconds!!! Even after the Ravens scored - which they shouldn't have! - there would have left enough time to try to get into field goal range and tie and go into OT, if Batch hadn't thrown that interception...) Then I began the trek back to Texas. Made it to the airport in plenty of time to catch my first flight. The flights back were at night, so the lights below were mesmerizing. I loved it. On my final flight of the trip, from CLT to DFW, I sat next to this really interesting guy and we had some awesome conversation. He's an SAP administrator of some kind, so we talked a lot of IT stuff. I knew about SAP implementations from ABC and he'd been travelling to Boston to interview for a new job somewhere else so we had a lot to talk about. Plus, he was intrigued by my path - math grad student, etc. - so I got to talk about myself some too. He said I didn't fit the mold, and that I am a very interesting, unique, non-stereotypical person. Also, we made fun of the chick behind us, who was talking rather loudly to the guy next to her about how she is a dance major in college and she has to wear tights all the time and she hates going to clubs even though she's a good dancer, and blah blah blah. Not that I have anything against dance majors in general, but this chick sounded extremely boring. I did not get a look at her to see if she was attractive or not. Also, the guy she was talking to was eating up every word she said. He was all "Oh my! Dancers are so awesome. They have such good balance and are so aware of their bodies and blah blah blah." Sorry dude, I don't think this chick was interested in you, she just liked hearing herself talk.

But anyway, got into DFW around midnight and went home and went to bed. It was an awesome weekend. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of new experiences. And I got to see some people I hadn't seen in months (Dan, my family) so that's always great. I would like to have seen more people while I was home, but it's okay. I'll just make sure to figure out my schedule for Christmas break and pencil in as many friends & family as possible.

All in all, a successful trip. Although now I can't use "never have I ever been on an airplane" during drinking games. :( A small price to pay, I guess. :)

A non-school-related post

2010-09-25T16:47:00.000-05:00

For some reason, today I feel like I've lived a thousand lifetimes. Well, not a thousand, but at least half a dozen disjoint lives. Or maybe like I've lived in a series of novels with the same protagonist, but each novel has distinct storylines, supporting characters, and settings. Actually, I guess that last one really is what life is like for some people. I haven't decided if the novels are well-written or poorly composed yet though.

I also feel like a nomad. At least I have a home now. This apartment gives me more comfort than I would have anticipated. I don't have many friends or acquaintances that know what it feels like to be homeless. I mean, I've always had a roof over my head, but I firmly believe there is a difference between a house/apartment/whatever/place-to-put-all-your-stuff and a HOME. I remember first having this argument with my mother when I was in the 8th grade. And I've had the conversation with many others since then.

At any rate, the rest of my evening holds the following: a long hot shower, cleaning my apartment, analysis homework & studying, and general hanging out. I better get cracking on that!

Oh - something new I learned this week - apparently most southerners pronounce the word "ornery" without the first r. As in: "awnry." Yeah, totally weird. Except I'm the weirdo northerner that says "orn-er-y." Still, I am loving Texas!

Plus, for anyone who was worried - I've been getting my weekly Steelers fix even though I'm in Texas. Yay for bars with NFL Sunday Ticket! And next Saturday I'll be getting on my first airplane flight EVER and next Sunday I'll be at Heinz Field watching the Steelers play the Ravens. Woo hoo!

More on teaching... and other stuff.

2010-09-24T11:22:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my students had their first exam of the semester. I didn't write the exam; the lecturer did. And I don't have to do the official grading of the exam; the lecturer does. But I did have to administer the exam, and I'd say it went pretty well. I also had to do the first pass at grading and mark answers as correct or incorrect (no partial credit, so no thinking). I'll also get to return the exams to the students and go over them. I'm actually glad about that. I like being able to tell them where they went wrong and how to fix their errors. I think that is the most important part of education anyway. At that level, students make a first pass at learning the material, paying attention in class, doing their homework, and studying. Then they take the exam and they find out if they REALLY learned it or not, and getting back an exam and getting that feedback is the most valuable part of the learning experience, or at least it was for me as an undergrad. I know there are students who get it back and look no further than the number circled in red at the top of the front page (the grade). But still...

As for my own classes, my first graduate exam is in less than a week. It's in analysis. Yuck. This weekend will be full of studying.

Everything about grad school seems so time consuming. And it feels like I'm never caught up. I'm told this is normal.

Oh what fun my weekends are now!

2010-09-16T15:31:00.000-05:00

It's past 3:30 Central Time on Thursday, so you know what that means! It's the weekend for Angela!!! That's right, I have no recurring commitments on Fridays so I get a 3 day weekend every weekend! No classes, no work (at least not scheduled work...), just "fun."

What is a typical weekend for this math graduate student like? Well, starting next week I'll start by rewarding myself for surviving another week by watching all my awesome Thursday night TV shows (either live, if I can find a friend with cable, or this will be postponed to Friday morning when they all come online). Then I'll probably turn in early-ish on Thursday nights because I'm quite exhausted. Friday morning I will intend to sleep in, but will probably be awake by 9AM. Then there will be some internet surfing and general lazy-ing around before starting my day. I'll have to spend a few hours during the day grading Thursday's quizzes/exams for my pre-calc recitations (they take either a quiz or a text EVERY Thursday). I'll also need to proofread the upcoming quiz or exam that the lecturer writes and create a detailed solution key for my students, as well as catch up on any pre-calculus homework assignments that I haven't done yet so that I can answer any questions they have in recitation the following week.

This teaching prep will likely take quite a few hours on Friday and perhaps a little bit of effort on Saturday if there's a lot to do, or if I feel like being particularly thorough that week. THEN I have to spend time on Saturday doing my own work - there's always a ridiculously difficult algebra assignment due (once one is turned in, the next one is assigned) and an equally challenging analysis assignment in limbo (again, once one is turned in, the next is assigned so there's ALWAYS work to be done). Of course there will be studying (my first graduate exam will be in two weeks!) and other commitments as time passes, but I have more than enough work to keep me busy right now!

On top of all this stuff, I of course have house work (only downside I've found to living alone so far - there is NO ONE ELSE to pawn undesirable chores off on). Straightening up, dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, general cleaning, etc. I should get most of this done some time on Saturday or on Sunday morning, so that I can go out and watch football all day on Sunday!!! :) THANK GOODNESS IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON AGAIN!

Oh and god forbid any friends want to spend time with me on the weekends because then my life during the week becomes hectic and hurried and stressful trying to keep up because I didn't frontload the week with extra time on the weekend! Not that I'm complaining; I'm glad to not be lonely. And there are some really awesome people here that make me really glad I decided to take the path that I'm on. There were a lot of people who doubted the decision and either openly or secretly thought it would turn out to be a disaster for me. (Not everyone, but enough people to almost make me nervous about doing it.) But it has all been for the best so far. And I am nothing but optimistic about the next 5 years here at UNT.

With that said, I'm not complaining about the demands & work of grad school either, in spite of my whining about all the stuff I have to do on weekends just to stay afloat. It's honestly doable right now. It's hard and time consuming, but not impossible or even improbable. And I'm really enjoying it. Grad school is just as much about time management as it is about being intelligent (in general), knowledgeable (in your field), and hard working. And I'm finally getting into a routine! :)

Hope all is well in Pennsylvania... or wherever you happen to be reading from, friend! It's all rainbows and butterflies here in Texas! (Well, not literally. But it's still nice, warm weather and I'm doing something I love! What could be better?)

Okay, now some stuff about ACTUAL GRAD SCHOOL

2010-09-09T18:21:00.000-05:00

I know most of my posts so far have been either about the move to Texas or conjecture about what grad school would be like. Now I've got some real experience! So, of course I'm going to share it with "y'all."

Oh, but before I do, I'd like to point out that most stereotypes people tried to get me to buy into before I left for Texas are wrong. I have yet to see a single cowboy hat or cowboy boot. Most people down here don't even have southern accents (although I did get called a yankee once, and I have been told I have a little bit of a northerner accent sometimes which I think is totally cool). Not everyone I've met is a raging republican with a hard on for George W Bush. And I hear more stupid country-western music in Connellsville (my own hick hometown in Pennsylvania) than I have heard in Texas. So I came down here without any expectations or stereotypes, ready for either entering a completely different world or a place that's basically the same just hotter in temperature. And I'm glad I did so and tried to ignore the people who said it would be a complete lifestyle change. Because if I was expecting everyone to talk funny and dress funny and think funny, I would have been severely disappointed. Instead I'm very happy here and seem to fit right in!

And another little anecdote... I'm sitting in my office and one of my fellow grad students in the department stopped by to pay what I think is a compliment: "You and your officemate are real heartbreakers. I've never seen girl mathematicians that guys would be interested in before." (Except the two of us, I assume he meant.) So, I have made it into somebody's top 2 most desirable female mathematicians list. Go me?

Okay, enough of that. Onto real talk about graduate school:

The social dynamic of the department is nice. It's a very diverse group of people, not a homogeneous nerd convention like you may imagine a collection of math graduate students to be. And all of the professors I've met have been great. I definitely made the right decision in coming to UNT. I've already made friends, and I have several other people that I could see developing real friendships with in the future. And almost everyone is intimidatingly intelligent. I don't feel quite as intimidated as I did the first night I went out with the math grad student crew a few days after I got here; I am assimilating more naturally and finding my place.

As for the classes I'm taking, Modern Algebra is great so far. The lectures are moving super fast but for right now it's all stuff I had as an undergrad so it's not a big deal. However, I am struggling to write as fast as the professor, and if/when we get to things I don't already know, it's going to be difficult to digest new ideas and still take accurate and useful notes. (I say "if" because I have a feeling most, if not all, of the first semester of algebra will overlap with my undergrad algebra class. The second semester of graduate algebra will probably hold more new material for me.) The one thing that I will struggle with is the assumption that we've had complex analysis already. Luckily Dr. Goebeler did introduce some complex (as in imaginary numbers, not complex as in difficult to understand) ideas into undergraduate algebra so I've seen it before. I just have to make sure I thoroughly understand it in order to succeed with it in grad school. I may have to teach it to myself or get someone to explain it to me if it becomes an integral part of the course. Honestly, I should give myself some cursory background in complex analysis anyway as a good grad student. I don't have a full understanding of the complex plane or complex numbers beyond a+bi. (Okay, I sort of understand nth roots of unity and I sort of understand the unit circle, but I'm not where I should be as a graduate student.)

Real analysis is (disappointingly) the same as it was as an undergrad. I'm not really interested in it. I understand it, but it is a different way of thinking for me, and a way that I don't particularly like, to be honest. I thought maybe taking it with a different professor would change my attitude, but so far it hasn't. I am really happy to get the practice though, as I am not comfortable with my knowledge of real analysis. So, working a whole semester's worth of problems will refresh my memory and get me up to speed, as I should be.

The other class I'm taking, about how to teach at the college level, is interesting and low stress - two things I am a fan of. We talk about problems we encounter in the classroom as we're teaching and get different opinions on how to handle the situation. It's mostly "discussion-based," if you will. And the professor has been giving a LOT of useful tips about how to teach and what to do and what not to do. It's extremely valuable to me, as someone who has never taught professionally before. (I've taught people things, and I've given training sessions in a professional environment, and I've tutored, and I've had classes with rotating lectures where we all had to write up lesson plans and teach material to our fellow students, but I've never had my own classroom before this semester.)

And more about teaching... It's going really well and I actually like it a lot more than I thought I would. Most of you that know me personally know (1) I hate children (and immature adults) and (2) I have a low tolerance for people who annoy me and people with no understanding of how the world works or the importance of mathematics. But, I have yet to encounter persnickety students. In fact, some of my students are inquisitive and engaged, which is definitely rewarding as an instructor. But they are old enough (in college) to ask interesting and insightful questions. And I'm really finding my personality as an instructor. It's not a total act, but I'm a lot nicer as a teacher than as a person. Just like I'm a lot nicer at work than I am outside of work. Not that I'm a mean or rude person; I'm generally friendly. But I am sarcastic and say mean things and have a weird sense of humor, things that I let shine through a little bit at work or as a teacher to seem accessible and like a human being, but don't show so much of those qualities that I scare away the masses. It's working for me so far. And I am really good at explaining things. And I actually like grading. It's mundane sometimes, and I'm sure it will get old fast, but I also like gauging the level of the students' understanding and being able to address specific problem points that may not come out in normal class discussion. The only parts of teaching that I am not experiencing this semester as a TA are writing quizzes and tests, choosing which homework problems to assign, and preparing lectures EVERY DAY (I've done a few, but mostly I'm there to explain things that have already been lectured about in more detail, not prepare a lecture in which the students are first introduced to topics). Those things are all very time consuming, and I have some ideas about how I would do that, but until I actually have to do it, I won't know what it's like. Still, I'm enjoying it for now and I could almost see myself as a college professor in the future. We'll see how I feel after test driving the job for 5 years as a graduate student...

Oh another fun thing I've done that is unique to Texas is been to the Cowboys' stadium! (Sorry for the confusing wording of that sentence!) You all know I'm a STEELERS fan, but I am also a fan of the game. So, having the opportunity to go and watch the Cowboys/Dolphins preseason game last week (I miss football so much - opening night of the 2010 regular season is tonight! yay!!!) was amazing. Plus, the new stadium itself is just as stunning as everyone says it is. It is huge and beautiful and fun. And that was just preseason! I'm sure it's a lot crazier during the regular season. Oh - a fair warning, though - their frozen margaritas ("Cowboyritas" - a super awkward and contrived name for them) are sometimes basically pure tequila. Important fact to know. (Wow, there are a lot of parenthetical statements in this paragraph!)

So, in summary, don't worry about me, dear Pennsylvanians. I am loving Texas, and I am loving grad school, and I am loving math. I am really happy here. I have definitely had times where I get a little homesick (usually after Facebooking/texting/talking with friends from up north), but in general I think I can say that Texas is suiting me well. I will be back in Pennsylvania for the October 3rd Steelers home game against the Ravens (my first plane ride EVER will be flying from DFW to PIT that weekend), but I'm only in town for one night. I have already started shopping around for plane tickets to come home for the holidays though. Quite expensive, but I will probably be able to get affordable nonstop American Airlines flights, which will be great. I just have to decide on travel dates (how much time I wanna spend at home vs. how much down time I want to have alone here in TX in my apartment between semesters).

Anywho, sorry for the communication blackout for the last week or more. I am making an effort to stay in contact with everyone, but grad school is hard and busy. Plus I have to maintain some semblance of a life in which I eat and sleep and breathe. Ah, and it's only going to get worse. Awesome! :)

Tomorrow's the day!

2010-08-25T19:26:00.000-05:00

So, tomorrow graduate school officially starts. I hit the ground running on the first day too: I teach two classes (8AM and 9AM), have office hours at 10AM, and have one class of my own (at 2PM). Then I have Friday off. (Actually I have every Friday off. Lucky me!)

My syllabus is written and copies have been made. My notes for the "lecture" I'm giving tomorrow have been written and I'm going to go through them again at least once more before bed. I will be going over the syllabus and then teaching two sections (provided there's enough time). First section is on lines (slope of a line, equations of lines, etc.) and the second section is on nonlinear inequalities (including a refresher on interval notation). Oh, and for you Ursinus math people who know what I'm talking about, I intend to shamelessly steal Gordon & Leah's note card thing that they do. I know as a student some people hated that the cards were used to call on us at random, but now I think it would be extremely useful. So, thanks, guys!

I'm really excited! And I feel oddly grown up. I think it's the distance from everyone I know. I'm living completely independently. I really love it. The apartment is working out really well so far and I am making friends in the department. Monday night after I met all the other (existing and new) grad students in the department, I was invited out with a group of them to get drinks after our whole day of meetings. It's nice to be included in a group of people already, especially since I can see myself becoming good friends with a lot of them. Even the others (those for which I can't tell yet if our personalities are compatible enough for real friendship) are very friendly. And I've met three of the four professors I'll be working with this semester and of the 3 I've already met, they seem really nice and really intelligent, and I'm really looking forward to working with them. And I'm also getting settled into my office. Some of my stuff is there, I have a space that is my own. And my officemate seemed a little tired/out of it when I first met her on Monday but I saw here in the office today and she was a lot more friendly and open and inviting. So I'm off to a great start already!

I may actually just barrel through the rest of the stuff I need to organize/put away tonight since I'm already prepped for tomorrow. Then I'd be able to take and post pictures for those of you who may be anxiously awaiting such things.

Anyway, I'll let you know how the first day goes! Hope all is well back in PA! Feel free to e-mail, text, or call any time! :)

Teaching Assignment

2010-08-19T12:54:00.000-05:00

Got my teaching assignment! I'll have two sections of pre-calculus recitations. At 8AM & 9AM on Tuesdays & Thursdays. And I know I said in the last entry that I'll be just a TA, but I'm pretty sure that I'll have to do lectures for this class. Actually, my responsibilities are not clear at all at this point. I won't find out more until next Tuesday morning at the course coordinator meeting (two days before the first class!). But I bought the book for the course, so I'll start going through that this weekend and familiarizing myself with the material in the book. There is a syllabus outline and a course outline on the department website (what you HAVE to cover, what you should cover if you have time, how many exams to give, how to handle homework and quizzes to make it uniform with the other sections of the course, etc). It is actually a super demanding course for such a low level. The students have to attend two lectures per week (someone else does those, they are 2.5 hours each) and two recitations per week (there are 19 different sections of recitations, I am responsible for two of them, they are 50 min each). So essentially these students are in almost 7 hours of class each week for this class, and they're expected to do a lot of homework and studying outside of class. I looked at my course rosters and among the 60+ students I have in the two sections, there are about a half dozen juniors/seniors and the rest is pretty evenly split between freshmen and sophomores. Should be interesting!!!

So, now my schedule is set. I am taking 3 classes, teaching two classes, and I set my office hours. I have Fridays off!!! How did that even happen?! As a first semester grad student, I was expecting to have the worst schedule ever, but it's actually really awesome. I don't start until noon on Mondays & Wednesdays, I'm off on Fridays, and Tuesdays & Thursdays are long days but I have a nice lengthy lunch break. It's going to be a rough semester with all the work I'm going to have to do, but I can definitely do it. I am actually getting really nervous about teaching. It's my first time and I know I'm going to fuck up. And I was totally prepared to be mean so that the students don't take advantage of the fact that I look really close to their age, but I forgot about the fact that I'm also going to have to be nice enough to care about how well they're doing in the class. I can do it. I'll just feel a lot better after the meeting next Tuesday so that I have a better idea of what I'm expected to do so that I can plan and over-prepare for the first day of class.

It's really amazing to me how different large universities are than small colleges. It's an adjustment that I was anticipating, and I'm glad I gave it some thought before I got here. I've always been part of smaller communities. My hometown is small (8,300+ in 2009 according to city-data.com) and rural. My high school was very small (graduating class of 69 students). My college was very small (300ish in my graduating class). Even for a large corporation, the company that I interned with/worked at for 2+ years was small. I knew most of the people in my department and they knew me. Plus I knew a lot of people throughout other areas of the business and in other locations. UNT is huge (last year 28,400+ undergrads and 7,600+ graduate students). Each year the math department has 15,000+ students enrolled in its lower level courses (1000 and 2000 level) and 1,000+ students in its upper level undergrad courses (3000 and 4000 level). And the graduate population in the math department is pretty big. There are close to 60 grad students, I think. Maybe more, maybe less. What do I know? Ha.

At any rate, I'm really excited for the semester to get underway. I'm excited for the classes I'm taking, I'm anxious to get teaching my first class under my belt. I'm excited to become a part of a new community, larger and different from any other I've ever been a part of.

Oh, AND I'm almost done unpacking! Pictures of finished, unpacked apartment to come soon, probably this weekend. I just have two boxes left to empty... and one pile of stuff on the floor that needs taken care of (at least it's not in a box anymore!). And some clutter to clear up on my TV stand, the bar, and my desk. I hate clutter. It's driving me crazy that I'm still not unpacked, so it will be done soon. I also think I'm going to attempt public transportation tomorrow. Gotta get some groceries, and as most of you know, I don't have a car down here. If I don't go tomorrow, I'll have to wait until Wednesday... (Buses don't run on Sundays, and I have meetings Monday & Tuesday.)

Anyway, I think I'm sort of getting used to the heat. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. And I'm getting used to walking around everywhere. I actually kind of like it. I used to feel terribly lazy, but now I feel like I'm really doing well with my life. I am living completely on my own. My own apartment, my own bills. I'm cooking for myself (well, I'd hardly call it gourmet, but I'm getting fed 2-3 meals per day). I'm entertaining myself. I just have a really good feeling about this whole situation. (I'll feel even better when I have paychecks entering my bank account again. Haha.)

So, how's PA treating y'all? (The "y'all" was intentional there. Hehe.)

First Grad School Meetings

2010-08-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I met my graduate adviser for the first time (my adviser until I choose a dissertation adviser in a few years). I had spoken to him on the phone a few times and e-mailed back and forth with him, but I finally met him yesterday. I think he and I are really going to get along. He's nice and helpful and knowledgeable, but also witty and kind of cranky (like me).

In our meeting, we largely discussed my schedule for this year, as well as took a first pass at mapping out my whole PhD program. As it is planned now, I will not be earning a pass-through Master's degree, just the PhD (which is fine with me and if I changed my mind I'd need at least an extra semester, if not a whole extra year; my adviser said the only reason to even do it is if the person I choose as my dissertation adviser will only advise me if I have a master's first, otherwise there is no real advantage/disadvantage to earning it and he wouldn't recommend it). I have to take a core series in each of four areas: abstract algebra, real analysis, complex analysis, and topology. I need to pass qualifying exams in two of these by my third year. I also need to take "breadth" series in 3 of the 4 areas (an extra two courses above and beyond the core). Then I'll be taking "reading" courses (choose a professor and a topic and design an individualized course with them in whatever I want to study). Once I've earned 78 credits as a graduate, I can start my dissertation hours (at least 12 of those). I will not be required to spend summers on campus (no taking/teaching classes needed) but if I want to finish within 5 years, I'll have to pick up 6 extra credits somewhere (easiest way to do that is to take two classes during a summer session or two).

As for my teaching fellowship, I will only have to TA my first year (assist with courses, but not teach my own). Then starting next year I will be an official TF (fellow, teach my own courses). The chair of the department (who I've met twice now and seems super nice and really cool and I really like him. He's an algebraist, so I think we'll get along) doesn't like first year grad students teaching their own classes; he thinks they should focus on their studies for a year first. I'm totally okay with that! I'm still going to get paid, then next year I will get a raise and increased responsibilities. And this will give me a year to settle into the groove of grad school before going super crazy with work. I'm definitely thankful for that.

So, this semester I am taking 3 classes and TA-ing 2 classes. I'll be taking one course on how to teach math/how to be a good TA/TF, I'll start the algebra core (in preparation for taking the algebra qualifying exam next August), and I'll start a "baby" series in analysis. Since I don't feel super comfortable with my analysis background, I am not going right into the analysis core, but am taking an intro to the fundamentals of analysis series before taking the analysis core. It's still a grad level course, but not quite as rigorous as a course intended to prepare for the qualifying exam. I think this is a very wise choice, as I don't want to overwhelm myself. Then at the end of my fourth semester I can take the analysis qualifying exam (or the topology qualifying exam, as I'll be taking that core series my second year along with the analysis one, so I'll be able to choose whichever I feel most confident about).

As far as teaching/TA-ing goes, I haven't been assigned to classes yet, but I should find out what I'll be doing within the next 24 hours. Yesterday I filled out a standard form they have about what I'd prefer, but I pretty much filled everything in with "no preference." I don't want to be the picky one my first semester. I could handle TA-ing any intro level course they throw at me. They've got SUPER BASIC courses, which would be easy, then they've got your standard statistics 1, calc 1, calc 2, and linear algebra courses. Truth be told, I think ideally I would like stat 1 and linear algebra. Stat 1 because I didn't take a stat course in college, so it would force me to learn the material. Linear algebra because I LOVED that course as an undergrad, but I've forgotten a lot of it so it would be fun for me and allow me to dig all that out of the memory banks.

Today we had the official meeting for all new Teaching Fellows. The graduate adviser and the department chair ran it. All the people in the same boat as me (starting classes this fall and having a teaching fellowship) were in attendance. We learned a little bit about what is expected of us, and filled out all our employment paperwork. I was out of there within an hour, so it wasn't so bad. It helped that I spent almost 2 hours on campus yesterday taking care of other administrative things (scheduling classes, talking to my adviser about the program in general, getting my student ID made, setting up a university computer account, etc). It also helped that Sunday afternoon I walked around trying to familiarize myself with the campus. The math building was open so I went up to the department floor and walked around to get a feel for it. (Oh, I should have my office keys by tomorrow! Yeah, an office! Take that, ABC IT! :P) It's a gorgeous campus and I really like the building/floor the math department is in. I could definitely get used to this and be comfortable and happy here. :)

Anyway, still LOTS of unpacking to do. I'll get pictures up as soon as I'm organized!

Texas Roadtrip: Conclusion, Day 3

2010-08-16T12:20:00.001-05:00

Trip summary, Day 3:
August 13, 2010

(All times Central!!!!)

9:37 am. Left awesome-est hotel I've ever stayed in. Beautiful room, comfy bed, delicious breakfast, really nice bathroom, very clean. A good night's sleep to help start what is bound to be a ridiculously long, busy, exhausting day. Yay!
10:28 am. 15.109 gallons, 1445 miles on tripometer.
12:25 pm. Entered Denton city limits!
12:40 pm. Arrived at my apartment complex! 1564 miles on tripometer - final tally for miles on the roadtrip!
2:00-3:15 pm. Paperwork, lease signing.
4:00 pm. LAST BAG BROUGHT IN!

Texas roadtrip: Day 2

2010-08-13T10:07:00.001-05:00

Trip summary, Day 2:
August 12, 2010

(All times Central!!!!)
11:51 am. Leaving Nashville. 20.155 gallons gas, 870 miles on tripometer. Best Starbucks I've ever seen. Beautiful outdoor seating area/lounge and they have a little library in case you want to read while drinking coffee. What a good idea! And makes it look cooler too!
3:55 pm. Goodbye TN! Hello AR! (Another state I've never been to!)
5:40 pm. 18.209 gallons gas, 1185 miles on tripometer.
9:05 pm. Goodbye AR! Hello TX, my new home state, and the last new state I'll be adding to my "been to" list on this trip!
9:42 pm. Stopping for the night. Another exhausting day full of nothing but the open road. Moving in to my new apartment tomorrow!! 1391 miles on trpometer.

521 miles from Nashville, TN to New Boston, TX on Day 2

Tomorrow's the last leg of the journey (and move in day).

Texas roadtrip: Day 1

2010-08-12T11:50:00.000-05:00

Trip summary, Day 1:
August 11, 2010

6:15 am. Left house. 0 miles on tripometer.
6:44 am. Goodbye Ursinus! (Passed Ursinus for last time?)
7:09 am. Goodbye 422! I hate you and I hope I never see you ever again!
10:32 am. 17.786 gallons gas, 233 miles on tripometer.
11:03 am. Goodbye PA turnpike! (Got on at Valley Forge, off at Donegal. Don't know when I'll see the turnpike again.)
1:21 pm. Goodbye Connellsville! (Stopped at Bud Murphy's for one last lunch in my hometown.)
2:12 pm. Goodbye PA! Hello WV!
4:40 pm. "Oh south and west. That makes sense." Copilot on which lane we should be in (left lanes say "north" and "east" and right lane says "south" and "west" ... On our way from PA to TX. Really? There's a question as to which direction we're headed?)
5:25 pm. Stop at Sheetz for coffeez and breakfast sandwich (schmiscuitz). Probably last Sheetz I'll see for a while. :( Almost to Kentucky; everyone already has a southern accent. 16ish gallons gas, 500ish miles on tripometer.
6:02 pm. Goodbye WV! Hello KY! (I've never been in this state before!)
9:11 pm Eastern / 8:11 pm Central. Goodbye Eastern time zone! Hello Central time zone! So excited!
9:11 pm Central. Goodbye KY! Hello TN! Another new state to me!
9:47 pm Central. Arrived at Nashville hotel and promptly passed out from exhaustion.

Successful day one achieved! 870 miles travelled from Spring City, PA to Nashville, TN.

Packing COMPLETE

2010-08-09T19:13:00.000-05:00

So, with less than 36 hours until I leave the Philly area, I am finally completely packed. Final count: 6 large plastic crates, 3 small/medium plastic containers, 4 large cardboard boxes, 6 small/medium cardboard boxes, 2 backpacks, 2 duffel bags, 2 printers, 1 large paper gift bag full of clothes hangers, 1 clothes basket full of miscellaneous stuff (mostly posters, wrapping paper, and 2 lamps), 7 garbage bags full of clothes and blankets. The bags of clothes & blankets (and one of the duffel bags, full of shoes) are going in a car-top carrier and everything else has to fit inside one SUV. I am confident I can make it happen. To be fair, this is EVERYTHING I own. I am not storing/leaving ANYTHING in Pennsylvania, not even in my mother's house. So, while it looks/sounds like a lot, I think it's a feat to reduce all of my belongings accrued in two-decades-plus to a single carload.

All my boxes & stuff...

My car-top carrier, filled with 7 bags of clothes and a duffel bag full of shoes...

Other exciting update: I figured out how to sign up this blog for e-mail posting capabilities, which means I will be able to easily update from my Blackberry during the road trip down there, including pictures! So that should be way cool.

Only things left to do are to throw all this stuff in the car and to make my playlist for the 24+ hour drive. Not in that order though. Playlist tonight, load up car tomorrow night. It is really kind of terrifying now that it's so close. I am literally putting everything I own into a single car, driving for 3 days as far as I can go, and moving into an apartment I've never seen, alone. When I think of it that way, it sounds crazy. But then I think, after the travelling and the moving in and all the stress that comes with that, I get to be in grad school. I get to take ALL math classes. Really hard math classes. Classes that most people are never even exposed to and most people would never understand even a little bit. I'm going to love it. It's a little pain for a lot of pleasure. I've gotta remember that and keep my eye on the prize. :) (Of course, grad school itself will be stressful too. And hard. But so worth it.)

My First Post: Still in Pennsylvania

2010-08-04T20:53:00.000-05:00

Hello, everybody! As I begin to distribute this URL, I figured I should write a little something to let you know you're in the right place.

Today is Wednesday, August 4, 2010, so exactly one week from today I begin my trek to Texas. I only have two days left at my job. It's actually really sad. I love it there and the people are amazing. I've made so many good friends there that I will miss dearly. But good news! I'm putting up this blog partially for their benefit so I don't have to lose touch!

I am not really that worried about whether I'll like it down there or whether I'll succeed. (Many people have expressed concern for me, as I've never visited the area, or the school, or the apartment I'll be living in. I've never been there and I'm pretty much going down blind.) I don't think I'm naive, I think I just know what I want. I am extremely excited to have my own place, and to be fully engulfed in one of the things I'm really passionate about - math. I know I'll have to do better at motivating myself to do the work, but I also will not have anything distracting me that I had in college. No job (except more math) and no boyfriend. Plus, I'll have the added motivation of knowing this is the one thing I have, the one thing I want. No room for error, so I'll give it all I have.

But anyway, I'm in coast mode in PA now. I'm wrapping things up at work and making an effort to see all of my family and friends before I go. I likely won't be back until Christmas-time (except a 36 hour stay in Pittsburgh for the Steelers/Ravens game in October!). I had to say goodbye to my family earlier than I would have liked (last saw them July 11th), but I made 4 visits home in 3 months, so I think that's good. I have been seeing and saying goodbye to friends for a while now. I saw as many of my high school friends as I could during my trips home and I have been trying to visit with all of my college friends too. I haven't gotten to see some of the closest friends I made while I was here in the Philly area due to circumstances beyond my control, and it really bugs me that I probably won't get to say goodbye, but I'm trying not to think about it. I am making an effort and it takes two to maintain a friendship...

I may update again in PA before I leave - maybe some packing news as I get everything boxed up again and loaded into the car (yes, I'm DRIVING from PA to TX). Until then, I hope you'll stick around and keep up with me. Feel free to comment on these entries, e-mail, text, and/or call. I'd love to keep in touch with all of you from Pennsylvania!